declaration of independence and happily breathing fresh air - lalala..

i have taken out some entries that are rather hurtful to some.However,i saved all your precious comments somewhere safe just for my eyes only.
I believe i have increasingly feel better and there is no need to write stuff like that anymore :)



s a v e t o n i g h t

Go on and close the curtains cause all we need is candle light
You and me and a bottle of wine going to hold you tonight
Well we know Im going away and how I wish, I wish it werent so
So take this wine and drink with me lets delay our misery

Save tonight and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow tomorrow Ill be gone
Save tonight and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow tomorrow Ill be gone

Theres a log on the fire and it burns like me for you
Tomorrow comes with one desire to take me away its true
It aint easy to say goodbye darling please dont start to cry
Cause you know Ive got to go, oh Lord I wish it wasnt so

Save tonight and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow tomorrow Ill be gone
Save tonight and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow tomorrow Ill be gone

Tomorrow comes to take me away I wish that I, that I could stay
You know Ive got to go, oh Lord I wish it wasnt so
Save tonight and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow tomorrow Ill be gone

Save tonight and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
Tomorrow Ill be gone

Save tonight and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
Tomorrow Ill be gone

sekian...

and now moving on to another 2 piccies (keje letak gambar je aku nih..). No matter how bad that night was, these girls managed to make me at least put the sincerest smile on my face.


Fatiza, Syalyna, Me happily posing macam tak ingat dunia :P


Najwa yang tak glam with Syalyna yg glam teramat.Hehehe..
Your words of wisdom and bubbliness always manage to save my sanity.And you worked your magic again when I need it the most.I owed you big time sister! :)

sharing is caring :)

It is hard to keep a happy appearance when you are down and misery is eating you from inside. Despite the shitty incidents that keep repeating themselves everyday, I will try to appear happy and write happy entries in this blog. Dari spread despair, lets share some happy thoughts, shall we?

Okla this might not be absolutely happy but below are pictures taken from the Petrosains Annual Dinner 2 weeks ago. I mentioned that the event was a bit ntah hape-hape due to some unfortunate events that happened. The only things that cheered me up that nite were the Madonnas Hung Up dance performance and having to meet Awal and had him referred to me as "…gadis cantik yang akan membantu saya untuk cabutan bertuah…" Ahaha.. I didnt even know who Awal was in the first place. VJ ke host show mane ntah tapi yg penting being referred as "gadis cantik" made my nite eventhough I so know that was part of his duty to be a charming host for that event and the reference was just typical (as if he meant it la kan..) but it was flattering.. And flattery will get you everywhere most of the time (I learnt this concept and slowly trying to adapt to it after 3 weeks in HR). And owh, AC Mizal performed that nite, singing and performed a sketch/stand-up comedy. I have to admit he IS funny! Adlin Aman Ramli dropped by to see he performed. Adlin seemed unapproachable. Tapi okla. Managed to snap a picture with him.

Zapin. I watched a dance performance last nite on TV 1. About zapin. There was this Zapin dance yang sangatla awesome. Berkobar-kobar semangat tetibe nak blaja zapin. Ahahaha.. sukelaa.. I even mentioned to my mom that I want a zapin performance by budak2 kecik on my wedding day..Boleh? Hehe.. Sure comel je nanti.. (Ok. Memang gile berangan tapi tak kesah la kan.Berangan je yg managed to make me happy now). After that I went straight straight to my old pc and watched our Ya Maulai zapin-ish dance during merdeka nite last year. How I miss the sweet old times. All of a sudden I remembered the gruelling practice hour to come out with the steps so that they will look as perfect as they could. Kepeningan mencari participants. Sampin (ke samping?) Wan Sham yang tertanggal in the middle of performance secara tetibe. Haha.. Truth is I miss Brisbane. I miss the times we spent together. Watch movies as we like. Go wherever we want. Eat whenever. Sleep whenever. Walk as we wish. Without anything to worry about.

I have a wedding to go next weekend. Yeay! I love attending weddings. Especially my friends weddings. Because it is the time where you can catch up with old friends and long lost contacts. Looking forward to it. Who am I going to bump into and who am I going to take with this time? Got a few names in my mind. Will pujuk mereka later.

Esok kerja. I hope I will have a cheerful week and happy people around me to keep me going.

Have a good week everyone!


That guy next to me mmg keji.tibe2 mencelah masuk in btw me and Awal(in suit).Chit! Terpakse jadi one person away from Awal yang comel :p


l-r (Dayu, unknown female companion of Adlin, Adlin, Me). Asal tudung ku nampak pelik?


The Ya Maulai Zapin-ish performance by us :)

dear all..

i have zero credit left on mobile..
so,call me on my extension (mase office hour) or mobile. this will be for quite some time till i get my mobile topped up with enough credit to call u people .esp bile korang nak gi wat trip lunch beramai-ramai ok!
thank you!

p/s: email pun ok tau (gaye excited sebab baru ade email address petronas.hoho..) gimme your ext number if u want me to call u.tanak call mobile,sbb call kene monitor.i do not wanna be "one of the monyets yg kene buang keje nanti!"

second day at work

yesterday was my first.from what i heard,new seedings like me as they call it, were expected to just sit around doing nothing or lebih tepat lagi, buat bodoh je on their first day.however my first day was unlike the glorified stories i heard.sampai je i was told to go for a meeting.dahla saye lambat setengah jam.giler cuak.dahla first day,camne leh lambat nih?actually,i was at level 62 before that, trying to get my staff pass done.After that,when i went back to my office,no one was there.i know they went for that meetng tapi i didnt expect that i had to attend coz im new.cuak gak when entering the meeting room sbb lambat kan.seb baiklah ok je.My boss saje je soh pegi meeting."so that you can get used to everything.Awak tak boleh nak merangkak2 ni.Kena berlari terus"Uishh..I have been firmly but gently reminded on my first day about what she expects from me.Because one of the staff is transferring at the end of this month.So,i was told that my job is taking over her resposibilities while shes gone.Kak Leen, the staff who will be transferring,awal2 lagi dah pesan,"Next week kite turunkan segala ilmu kat awak ek".Confirm la takde nye nak buat bodoh je in my first week of working.The tasks are already waiting for me.

T O U G H W E E K

underappreciated

Sometimes I am scared to give my best to people, like to do good deeds, be kind, be supportive, be nice, be persistent in a good way, be a good listener, a good friend etc because I fear that I will not be appreciated for what I did. I know that we have to be sincere in whatever that we did. Tapi kadang-kadang dah puas pujuk hati sendiri suruh jadi ikhlas tapi mesti ade la sekelumit rase yg mengharapkan balasan. Susah ok. Kadang-kadang rasa macam tak reasonable plak nak mintak macam2. tapi bila fikir balik, bukan lah banyak sangat pun mintak tuh. Cukup sekadar boleh buat rasa di appreciate. Salah ke?

PGL- the musical
It was awesome though the real performance did not really meet my expectation. But the musical arrangement was marrrvelloussss. Sukala lagu-lagu dia yg rancak tuh. Pandai org yg compose. The props too. Fabolousss! Chantekla. Suke juge. Really like the movable-layered-wooden-stairs prop. And also the ukiran kayu for the Istana Melaka backdrop. Cun giler.

Career Day @ Petrosains
It was held today. But I have already felt the eventful schedule several weeks ago due to the preparation. It was FUN. Really reminds me of those days in STF or UQ where we were all so busy helping each other out to hold any school or uni events. I really dont mind being busy doing all these things because I like to get involved. Penat tapi berbaloi. And I always have the excuse to escape from the office routine. Like I can go to assist in buying gifts, survey and compare the best price for food and other stuff, meet new people, pegi sana, pegi sini etc. I hope my job would be something similar or if not similar, close to something like this. I hate routines. Having experienced 5 years in a boarding school was enough to teach me how to survive the painful routines that I had to go through every single day. In conclusion, today was a huge success. Everything went smoothly and everyone was happy at the end of the day. So, hooray for each and everyone of us! So, off I went after it all ended smiling happily. I was on my way to meet Remi, walking in the subway to the KLCC lrt station, when all of a sudden, I miscalculated my next step, and kedeboink! Terpelecok saye di tengah-tengah org ramai di KLCC. Dahla sakit malu pulak. Adoilaa.. And as usual, passers-by did what Malaysians always do which was to stare at you like it was some kind of entertainment. Bukan nak tolong pun. Chett!! Fortunately ade a few kakak yg baik hati tolong kutipkan ayam-ayam KFC Original yg turut jatuh bergolek-golek semasa terpelecok tadi. Lagila maluuuuuuu. One lady from the nearest shop bagi selotep tolong tapekan the KFC box yg dah terburai tuh. Fortunately, nothing really bad happened to my ankle. I can still walk after a few minutes of massaging it.

Oo Winnie
When I got home, the daughter of the Chinese lady next door had a chit-chat session with my mom. Her name is Winnie. Around 11 or 12 years old agaknya. Nasha as usual, being so very the friendly, pun layan la sekali Winnie nih. They chatted about quite a number of things. Winnie asked my mom why am I so different from Nasha and my other sister, Nasyitah.
(Imagine cakap in a chinese slang yg agak pelat Melayu)

"Auntie, kenapa itu kakak tidak serupa?"
"Tak seghupe macamane tu Winnie?"
"Dia putih maa. Ini Nasha dan yg lagi satu itu hitam”
*Gelak-gelak sikit*
"Ooo.. Anak-anak auntie ni kalau yg putih ikut mak. Hitam ikut ayah. Kalau kurus ikut bapak, kalau gemok ikut maknye"
"Hahaha.. gemuk kan sebab hari-hari pun selalu makan sahaja. Nanti terlalu gemuk kan, esok boleh jadi babi"

Wahahahahahahaha.. I really couldnt stop myself from laughing out loud when hearing this. I know la she didnt mean that babi thing. Dah tak tau nak compare kalau gemok macam ape kot. Hahaha.. Tapi kelakar laa.. Selamberr Winnie.

"Auntie, esok kita cakap-cakap lagi ok? Bye bye!"
"Haa.. Iyelah"

I wasntt really sure what was the whole point of telling this story. But I do find it amusing and funny after one long day at work. Esok kite borak-borak lagi ye Winnie! Looking forward to it.

cepat laaa balik...

:(

perak tu jauh ok..takde coverage lak tuh

Paraskevidekatriaphobia: Fear of Friday the 13th (or so they say..)

My Friday was doomed from the beginning regardless of the existence of Friday the 13th.
Well, lady luck was already not on my side a couple of days before.So this not so good feeling was already there long before today.Takleh laa nak salahkan Friday yg tarikh dia 13hb kan. Well,at the moment,I felt like I was being observed, under very close surveillance.Like every move that I made,everyword that i said were being monitored by a hidden camera.And right at this very moment, I know that my mon was on the phone talking to my aunt about ME.And how in the world did I know that?Because mom thought that I was having a nap (coz she called me just now,and i was half asleep but now i was wide awake) and when my aunt answered the phone, all of a sudden she took the phone inside her room secretly and I somehow overheard she said my moms name. So, there.Pecah rahsia.I know laa someting fishy was going on. Just 2 days ago,I had this long talk with my aunt (personal life,issues,updates) and uncle (carrier-wise).And why ? Because,apparently my beloved parents told them so. Hrmm.. Supicious,no? Apsal rase betrayed semacam.. I felt like a bad daughter whose parents felt that i was soooo out of control and hence terpaksa menyuruh orang lain menasihati saya. Kalau anda menjadi saya,apa yang anda rasa? Its not that i mind the 'lecture' sessions with aunt and uncle,I did find that they were useful.Banyak tips.Especially the carrier-wise talk: the options that i have,what my real interest is,decisions and choices before I start working yada yada.. And the talk about personal matters.We talked about relationships mostly.And yeah.It was helpful.But it sorta hit me hard at the back because there was a hidden meaning(which i coudnt grasp yet) and truth in it. Confused guwe dibuatnye.And a bit scared.Menci laaa.. Hmph!! (Ya Rabbi,tak habes2 lagi talking on the phone mereka ini.Mungkin banyak sungguh issue menarik mengenai saya yang mereka bincangkan.I wonder what they are.) The fact that they were talking about me behind my back regardless they were good or bad, hurt me.I am sure they werent talking bad things.But u know,the way she tried to get to me through my aunt,sounded so..ntah.Got no words to describe it.But i just feel betrayed.

Okay,now I feel I am soo hurt by it..

Chett..

Berjaya mereka membuat saya rasa begini..

Have a nice Friday everyone!

if i am a hindi song

if i am a hindi song my life,from my perspective will be so much easier.moods can be switched in a blink of an eye.whenever that i dont feel so good,i can switch to my happy mode in a flash.just like that.no need for words of encouragement.no need for special attention.no need for binge-eating.no need for window shopping.no need for feeling depressed.no need for anything. i can just feel happy anytime that i want to..if i get to choose a hindi song,that will be the song from Kal Ho Naa Ho in which Shah Rukh Khan danced happily with his neighbours early in the morning.Alaa.. Lagu yg cam ala-ala Pretty Woman tuh but in a much faster beat.Hohoho..

i got cravings

• kfc,kfc,kfc,kfc,kfc,kfc....
• Bulla cookies n cream ice-cream
• Smiths Sweet Chilli potato chips
• Coffee Clubs Nachos
• Pancake Manors waffle with caramel
• goreng pisang cicah sanbal kicap
• cendol mamak

i promise that anyone who manages to make my cravings come true will be generously rewarded.

p/s: im in USJ at the moment.Yippie yeay!!

office assistant di Petrosains

I started volunteering at Petrosains today.Setelah sekian lama.This time it was different as I was placed at the office instead of the centre.Never did this before.So,was a bit excited this morning.My day didnt started as good as I expected. Pagi-pagi lagi dah encounter makcik garang yg grumpy masa nak naik lrt.Hellooooo.It was early in the morning.Everyone was rushing and everyone wanted to reach their offices quick.No need for the muka tarik 14 walaupun dgn x sengaje nye ternudge sikit je makcik nih masa queue beli tiket.Enough of that.I went to petrosains yesterday.When it was not crammed with all sorts of people.More importantly, with Remi.It was actually not a bad idea at all to actually spend time together with your boyfriend in a science centre.In contrast of the usual dating routines at the usual hang-out places like the mall, cinema, cafe-cafe chantek, kedai mamak (pun booooleh laa..),taman bunga (haha!) and the mall (again). Besides, you get to learn science in sorta fun way :P kan, kan, Remi kan?? Hehe..Tp go to petrosains when it was not public holidays or school holidays.When you go on either one of these days,leh mati tersepit di buat nye.So,in short,if you ppl have nothing better to do, please, do drag your boyfriends to Petrosains.Haha,yeaahh..Promote jgn tak promote.(Like me,I was soo bising trying to persuade him to come until he finally gave in.Thanks very much dear!).Maybe we should check out the Aquaria lak after this.Buleeeh Remi? Kensel la Muzium Orang Asli.Hahaha..

Cerita pasal Petrosains lagi.(Once you pop out a story,you cant stop!Haha..) Since today was my 1st day as an office assistant, I didnt know what to expect sangat laa kan.So,buatlaa the usual stuff as told by Kak Shikeen.Byk guna excel.Banyak nye la nama-nama nak kene update.Beribu-ribu lemon! It has been a while since i last piled up with uni stuff yg kena ngadap screen pc lama-lama.Ada terasa cam nak terkeluar eyeball from its socket.Buat laa keje sampai tghari camtuh.And then,all of a sudden: "Najwa,jom ikut akak pegi beli Milo kat Cold Storage."Kak Shikeen told me.Beli Milo? Berapa banyak sampai nak kena teman2 ni? "18 peket!" Jawab dia lagi.Waahhhhhh... Bapakkkkk banyakkk.Takpernah beli banyak camnih seumur hidup.Hahaha.. Satu peket besar, 2kg kot.18 peket,dah brape kg dah tuh?Fuiyoo..Byk nyer..Boleh minum berapa byk tahun nye stok.Anyhouu.. I felt like an office boy,eh girl jap.Multitasking sungguh jadi office assistant nih.Kena call volunteers up, update database,update name list, amik kuih kat SS3 sebab ade extra,refill Milo,creamer,Coffee kat pantry, bawak volunteers baru naik skybridge,bawak masuk volunteers baru yg lambat dtg dsb.. Multitasking ke tak multitasking tuh?

in the la-la-la land

I am currently content and at peace since I am on leave this whole week. Nothing much happened except that I am getting sufficient rest and sleep plus quality time with my family. Last weekend was Sarah's brother's wedding,held at Marriot. It was a lovely wedding. The theme was purple and pink so basically the ballroom was beautifully decorated with purple orchids (yeah, I think it was orchids. Heh..). I think it was a refreshing idea having orchids instead of the normal flowers like roses or lily or whateva kind of flowers tht ppl would normally used for weddings. Anyways, since I like attending weddings especially the ones like this, I enjoyed the whole affair. Right from the reception till the end of the night. And did I mention that it was also like a mini gathering for us, the Brisbane students? Aah.. what is more amusing than updating each other on what has been going on in our lives as well as gossiping with your uni girlfriends, refreshing your minds on the sweet old days where life was all about having fun and caring less about what was revolving around the world. So, it was a pleasant night! Too bad I couldn't join them later, lepaking and chillin' on Christmas Eve. Curfew, people, curfew….

Anyways, been keeping a low-key life this holiday. Probably the only highlight of this week was me doing a thorough inspection on which car to buy. Since my family and I were moving soon to a place far far away, so it was wise for me to get a car or otherwise I'd remain handicapped forever. And yup, I could now drive legally people! Hooo-yeaah!! Haha.. Talk about late-bloomers here! Nothing luxurious of course, just a small, cute and commutable car for me to move around. Practicality is important since KL is congested with heavy traffic 24/7. Unless I stumble upon 1 million or dig a goldmine or go sell pirated vcds at pasar malam, then I might be able to afford a Mini or a Jaguar. Now that was a different question lah kan. Can't hardly wait for my new toy to come!

Moving on. I guess almost everyone has watched Cinta. Me too. I watched it twice. First time with the BF and second with my girlfriends. The first time I wached it, I cried (not buckets though) during the story of Rashidi Ishak and Rita Rudaini and their little daughter. I was expecting that the saddest love story would be Cikgu Elias and Makcik Rubiah but to my surprise, I was more immersed and touched by the sorrow and loss of Rashidi, having to let go of his wife just because she has found her true love and claimed that man to be her soulmate. Until today, I still couldn’t understand how was that possible. I mean you married a man that thought you love in the first place, had a perfect marriage with a cute daughter, a husband who is so-obviously-deeply-in-love-with-you and a happy, romantic and stable life together. And then, when her old flame showed up out of nowhere, how could she leave the happiness that she has built for years and probably has gone through a lot of hardships to maintain what she had, just to go into the arms of someone that she claimed to be her soulmate? Hapekejadah?!?.. bukan nye the husband was ill-treating her ke kaki mabuk ke ade financial crisis ke.. how in the blue hell, could she sacrifice something that is definite for something that was uncertain? Yelah kan ke marriage kan cam bina masjid. So she should try to save and protect it rather than give in to temptations. Selfish ke tak selfish? But overall, it was a good movie. Entertaining and I like the beautiful shots of KL captured in this movie.

What else, what else? Hmmm.. owh I also went to Marche at The Curve last weekend. I'd always wanted to go there since it was first opened. The concept was fun. The whole idea of ordering your food at the various stalls and had your passport stamped everytime you ordered food/drinks, was enjoyable I must say. Meriah macam pasar. Because the chefs would try their best to get you order food from their stalls, with all the jerit2 making the environment lively. There were 6 of us: Raf, Man, Nikki, Nadia, Hana and me. But if there was a lot more variety, it would be so much more interesting. Especially the dessert. For someone who has the sweetest tooth as me, the dessert didn't offer a lot of variety. Sebagai penggemar waffle yg unggul, the waffle there adelah tidak sedap! Sedap lagik waffle kat Cold Storage!

I have several piccies but the net was so dem slow kat rumah ni. Lain kali je la ye..
So, I am still left with tomorrow to fully utilize it to the max.
Please don't let the remaining 24 hours pass too qucikly for I still have soooo much fun yet to be enjoyed...

Happy new year!!!

home sweet home

hey people,
im back!
back in gombak!
yeay!!

sad
sad
sad
sad
sad

:(

Why I had fun at Harbourtown

Major reason to be extremely happy is of course I get to shop, shop and shop. More reason to be happy? The expenses were not entirely on me. Yeap, shopping trips with moms are always worthwhile. The hot-ish weather didnt stop us from having fun there. Mom was ecstatic I guess of getting the things that she wanted with extremely good bargain. 2 handbags just for this trip. Hehe.. Now you can understand where I get this fetish from. See, it is not entirely my fault :p. To me, the secret to achieve satisfaction when shopping is when I double-triple the bargain price and it was still lower than the original price. Got myself a pair of nice sunnies from city beach, seluar kerja from Table Eight, shirt kerja (beriye-iye beli mende2 nak keja), and loooong necklaces from Insane. So, there. I was truly satisfied with this shopping trip. Happy, happy, happy. Since we borrowed a wheelchair from the tourism lounge there, I pushed my mom around in it. She didnt want the electric-driven-wheelchair (where one can just control the speed just like a normal motorbike and happily cruise around). Because nanti takut tertinggal kan kitorang yang jalan at normal walking pace nih. Lagipun, you can practice your driving skill when pushing me around in this thing, she said. Like, reversing the wheelchair, pushing it through a very narrow entrance when entering shops, learn how to estimate distance in narrow space and much more. Malas nak tulis,banyak lagi. Mwahahaha.. I know, I really really have to take driving classes when I got back. Yes, mom. Point noted!

i finally graduated


yeay!!

time and fate sure have a good sense of humour when not needed.
especially not now.

city sight-seeing was cancelled.
stayed in instead, thanks to the hot weather.

i-cant-sleep-entry

picked up emak from airport just now.happy and glad to see her in a much better condition.last i saw her was in july when she just had the accident,still badly affected by it and using wheelchair to move around. thanks salwa for driving us eventhough it was a very last minute substitution.really appreciate your help.

emak is always full of advices which are true and wajib dituruti but somehow i have the habit of denying them in the first place.mothers live long before us and of course their lifetime experiences made them wanting only the best for their children.it has never been my intention to not to listen to her with heart and ears wide open but there are times that i found myself to stand so strongly for what i think.in other words, i am stubborn.or degil.or can also be known as keras kepala.but i know that she is always right, no matter what. it is just that the regret that comes after not readily accepting the advices in the first place which always resulted in bad choices, bad decisions and more bad choices .and most of the time i always ended up saying this to myself: i should have listened to you.i wish i could turn back time and do the right thing.

anyways, where should i bring emak to tomorrow?

pammy and tommy

It took much more than just a whole lot of effort to start doing something that you havent done for quite some time. Like updating this blog.

Exams were way over. Results were out 2 days ago. And soon Ill be graduating. Yeay for me! In the meantime, I am patiently waiting for my mom to come all the way from KL for my graduation ceremony AND for some serious shopping. Ah, cant hardly wait for the latter.

There were 2 new shows being aired on Seven last night. The Pammy Anderson show, which I forgot what it was called and Pammys ex show, Tommy Lee Goes to College. Ridiculous and shallow it might seem, but I actually enjoyed both shows. Haha.. The Pammy one was a regular comedy series with cute jokes in between. I even think that she was cute in it. Played a blonde sorta-bimbo who just broke up with her rock star boyfriend and was trying to start a whole new life after the break-up by, guess what? Working as an assistant in a bookstore. Cute.

And as all of us can guess by the name, the Tommy Lee show is about him going to a uni and experiencing a student’s life which of course highlights the main purpose of the show, which is studying. Cute! (Lame jugak sebenarnya considering he stars in his own tv show. Publicity-seeker!) Ahaha.. I hate to admit this but apart from the nasty stories and gossips, I really think that he is kinda handsome. If you just take your mind off the piercings and the overwhelming tattoos, you might just see that he is actually good-looking. But of course, even with those things, he is already kinda sexy in a very rock star way. Nyiahaha..


tommy lee

Aahh.. it was raining heavily outside. Blissful!!

deleting a post is much easier than creating a new one.

lazy, unmotivated and not in the mood to update.

btw, im not feeling good today.

thank you

today is Wednesday

Just as I thought that things are finally coming to an end, I realized that they are so far from being over. Sigh.

*take a deep breath*
*relax*
*you will be fine*

weekend endavour

Had fun making roti canai and karipap last weekend. I had my hands full the whole day trying to get the right karipap pastry dough.Right, meaning, lembut dan tidak keras bila digoreng.Hoh..Susah maa.. Had to add in loads of butter to actually get it correct. We invented a whole new meaning to the karipap filling. Since we didnt have any meat or chicken, we replaced it with a mixture of squids, mussels and other seafood stuff which I didnt know their names.Haha..Sounded and looked weird in the first place but it turned out well in the end.Yeay! The joy of experimenting.Aaahh.. Nan successfully played the role of macha si penebar roti canai.Tebar jangan tak tebar! And not forgetting Amar as the 2nd macha who showed quite a bit of skills as well. Cayalah! Korang 2 orang leh apply kerja jadik penebar roti canai after nih.Hehe.. After all the hard work, we had a yummy dinner of roti canai, roti telur, roti sardin and of course karipap. Waahh..So many kinds of roti. The karipap wasnt too bad either.Its just that the pastry was a bit like cookies after been fried. Result of the butterry dough.Hehe.. Berbaloinye one whole day cam bibik sekejap. And then, the next day we had breakfast of roti canai and roti tampal with teh tarik! Haha.. Who said you couldnt get a good old mamak style of brekky in Brisbane. Ade teh tarik lagi tu! What a good way to start the day. Later that day, watched Corpse Bride and of course, Smallville season 5. Smallville is just getting better and better. The characters are interestingly developed, the storyline got twisted more and more and Tom Welling is looking better than ever :) Anyways, all of a sudden i craved for Max Brenners choc souffle. So mouth-watering.Especially when you had a bite of it and let the sweet, warm choc filling melted in your mouth.Soft on the outside and even softer on the inside, with WARM creamy chocolate filling. Aaahh.. Rindunya..

blog updated finally - celebrations

aidilfitri yang mulia
Some celebrated raya on Thursday.Some,on Friday.I celebrated on the latter day. So, pagi raya went for semayang raya at Guyatt Park.Gloomy weather.But it was good coz takde la panas cam last year.Sembahyang raya went pretty well until it came to khutbah time.Suddenly,heavy downpour.Kemut sumer orang trying to find shelter.Anyways,raya tetap raya.So,had makn-makan afterwards and of course, sessi bergambar (acara wajib). Plenty of food.Variety! Some friends went to open houses afterwards.Me? Went home directly after that to study.Sigh.Terpaksa.Had 2 exams on Saturday.

salam-salam pagi raya



the day i celebrated my independence day
how did i celebrate? Answer: WINDOW-SHOPPING!!
(captions are for pictures from l-r)

1- commencing the journey for the day.Yeay!! Scanning the scene, trying to decide where to go first.

2- Decision made. First stop: Valley Girl!

3 - Browsing around.Nothing interesting to satisfy the bargain-hunter's needs.

4- Spotted something that i really really like.REALLY REALLY like.

5- Next stop: Myer.Myer is always full of cool and nice-to-look-at shoes. rmk collection is no exception.

6- More shoe stops. Really like the ankle-strap with dangling beads heels.Chanteeekk!!

7- Many more stops to make! Keep on walking.Where to next?

8- This is one more thing that never failed to make happy by just looking at them (besides shoes)

9- More cute accessories. Hoh.Sedap dipandang mata..

10- Takde keje saje saje.Took a self pic in a mirror.

11- On a citycat, heading back home.Exhausted but happy :)

The end

yeay-i-am-done-with-my-Honours-project-for-good


Spicy and me.And thats my demo poster on the left..


and that is the-much-talked-about Lazaros Kastanis, my suprevisor

I would like to thank Laz, the greatest supervisor one can have for his contributions to the success of this Honours project and for making this arduous year a fulfilling and memorable experience. Thank you very much for your much appreciated knowledge, guidance, encouragement, feedback, patience and enthusiasm for pushing boundaries as well as for the most mentally stimulating meetings I have ever had..Muchas gracias!

Anyways, nak cakap sket pasal keikhlasan membuat sesuatu perkara.Kadang-kadang susah betul nak rasa ikhlas buat something tuh.Sometimes, eventhough dah cuba mengikhlas kan hati tapi ada juga this one tiny,nagging voice inside your head yang mengharapkan balasan.Mungkin kita rasa apa yang kita buat memang sepatutnya dibalas balik secara baik. Tu yang dah jadi tak ihkhlas kan.Memang bagus jadi orang yang ikhlas ni sebab kita takkan meletakkan harapan menggunung untuk the other party to do the same thing in return.Because when we hope for them to do the same thing that we did for them,and in the end it turned out that they didnt even give a damn about the effort that we have put in, we would feel frustrated, deeply furious or disappointed.And bila kita ihklas, kita tak takut nak all out buat something regardless of whether we get something in return or not. Banyak sangat contoh pasal ikhlas tak ikhlas membuat sesuatu nih.

Macam, group assignment kan. X nih rajin orangnya tapi dia tak contribute all out untuk siapkan assignment sebab dia tgk groupmate dia yang lain tak bersungguh-sungguh langsung.Dia fikir, kalau dia contribute all out pun buat apa kalau dia sorang je yang kena bertungkus-lumus and the others macam mengharapkan dia sorang.Dia pun rasa lagi,kalau dia tgk orang lain beriya-iya baru la dia akan contribute betul2.Mungkin juga groupmates dia yang lain tuh ada masalah yang tersendiri menyebabkan mereka-mereka itu tidak dapat menyumbangkan usaha sama rata.But then,this is another issue.Kalau X tu ikhlas mungkin dia akan cuba juga contribute for the sake of the team and at the same time cuba menasihatkan rakan-rakan dia yg lain supaya turut berusaha jugak.Kiranya, X takkan berkira sangat lah kan berapa banyak yang dia kena buat untuk siapkan kerja tu.

Hrmm..Macam x relevant la pulak. Alaaa.. Banyak laa contoh-contoh kecil yang lain.Macam kalau kita bagi orang hadiah masa birthday mereka. Kalau kita ikhlas,sure kita tak frust bila kita tak dapat apa-apa pun dr mereka time birthday kita.Tapi, kalau ada sedikit perasaan mengharapkan balasan sebab tak ikhlas,memang la kita akan rasa buang masa je bagi hadiah haritu or maybe sedikit sedih dan kecewa kerana terasa mereka tidak ingat kat kita.

Or bila kita sanggup menjadi pendengar setia kepada masalah2 Y.Tapi bila giliran kita ada masalah,Y tidak memberikan respons yang sepatutnya.Mungkin juga Y bukan jenis orang yang mendengar dan tidak tahu bagaimana hendak menenangkan orang yang sedang bermasalah. Yela.Tak semua orang boleh buat benda yg sama.Jika kita ikhlas mendengar masalah2 Y, mungkin kita tidak akan merasa bahawa Y ni seorang yg tidak tahu mengenang budi kerana niat kita ikhlas hendak menolong Y menyelesaikan masalah/menenangkan dia.

Tapi kadang-kadang bukanla kita nak sangat pun balasan yang setimpal atas kebaikan yang kita dah buat.Tak semestinya kita nak orang bagi hadiah kat kita balik masa birthday kita or tak semestinya kita nak Y betul-betul into our problem kita and cuba selesaikan.And tak semestinya X nak groupmates dia yg lain buat contribute macam dia because cara org berkerja mmg tak sama.And tahap kehebatan/kepandaian pun lain-lain.Takleh laa nak expect semua orang hebat-hebat dan pandai-pandai belaka. Cuma, kita nak dihargai atas apa yang kita dah buat.APPRECIATION and ACKNOWLEDGEMENT. Cukupla dengan wish birthday je ke.And tak perlu cuba come up ngan solutions pun.Cukup sekadar mendengar,bersimpati dan tidak judgemental.Orang tgh bermasalah kan,jangan la menambah kan lagi beban dia.And also, groupmates tu cakap la thanks ke or tunjukla appreciation sikit kat X.

Kita kadang-kadang lupa untuk menghargai pengorbanan ataupun kebaikan orang lain.Mungkin kita appreciate tapi kita tak tunjuk sebbab kita appreciate/acknowledge dalam hati (boleh ke?). Tapi bila kita tak tunjuk macamana la the other party tu tau kan?.. Dah kita rasa down or underappreciated. Bila dah macam ni, secara tak langsung kita akan rasa discouraged utk terus melakukan kebaikan atau perkara-perkara yg sepatutnya kepada pihak-pihak yg tertentu.

Oleh itu kita harus ikhlas membuat sesuatu dan appreciate and acknowledge laa orang-orang sekeliling yang rasa-rasa dah banyak buat baik pada kita.Sementara masih ada masa.Bila dah takde nanti,haa...barula nak meyesalkan...

SEKIAN

(this is such a length entry.But if u managed to read until this point,anda telah berjaya mendengar luahan perasaan saya dan saya sangat berterima kasih atas usaha anda itu!)

happy ending

my demo went well. everyone looked happy.satisfied smiles on their faces as their project demo went really really good.there was this feeling of eagerness in the air since 8 am this morning. everyone seemed so enthusiastic to show the outcomes of working hard for the past 2 semesters.that included me as well la kan. seronok semacam. nervous tu nervous jugak.how can you not be nervous when all the important people in the industry came to see you 'selling' your project and bombarded u with all sorts of questions afterwards.well.. the industry ppl tht I feared the most the nite before turned out to be not as scary as I thought. they were lenient. alih-alih other UQ academics(merangkumi supervisors of other students) pulak yg turned out to be sooo demanding and hard to please. I got all these challenging questions from this one particular guy yg keep asking me stuff trying to make my project looked insignificant and not challenging at all. Helloooo... kalau tak susah, takde laa sampai ade dalam list Honours project kan? Duh! But I managed to answer him after all. Baru tau. Hmph!! Anyways, sangat la penat.Talking almost non-stop like a mad parrot since 9 am sampai 4.00 pm.Super-duper xhausted.Energy level = 0. Had the feeling tht Im gonna miss terawikh at musolla tonite.Huhuhu.. Will put up todays's piccies of the demo tomorrow...

Greys anatomy

I like watching Greys Anatomy.I have never liked watching any doctor-ish tv series.But this one is an exception. Its like watching The O.C on a hospital set.Theres soo much dramas going on: the conflicts, affairs, relationship problems, life struggle etc etc while at the same time trying to save a patients life.. Cant wait to see where the friendship between Izie and Alex will lead to :)
Anyways, this next info is irrelevant to todays entry:

Currently on heavy rotation:
Some kind of wonderful - Joss Stone
Less is more - Joss Stone
Spoiled - Joss Stone
My completeness - Thirsty Merc
Salvame - RBD (a Spanish song)
Cinta - Flop Poppy
Segitiga - Cokelat
Super duper love - Joss Stone (again...)

Gonna have a long and tiring day today.
Have a good Tuesday everyone!

lalalala

uninspired ..
facing a major writer's block..well im not exactly tht kinda writer.. just an insigfinicant writer of my own thesis. it requires time, concentration and peace to write beautifully.. i mean for my thesis, of course..to write crap, anytime also caaan.. when you have sufficient time, you can put yourself in deep thought, keep yourself calm and focus more and pinpoint even the tiny little flaws that are not visible before this.. tinggal conclusion je....conclusionnnnn jee...please laaa.....

anyhoouu..had iftar at the musolla today. It was a fiesta of good food.Seriously.As the iftar was organized by MSAUQ sisters,so,most of the food,I think,was of middle east cuisine.Fave dish would be the lagsania.Super rich with fresh meat, veges and top off with a very creamy cheese layer.Sedap, mantap mengamuks! Other dishes were equally good as well.Didnt know their names.Tapi mmg sedap.Most of them had meat in it.The pasta, the Turkish wrap,the homemade pizzas,the gulai (yg nih mmg tak tau ape name die) and even the bread had it.I dont even like to eat read meat.But I allow myself for an exception today.And yeah,right now Im feeling slightly meat-ish.And oh,Pinna Cotta(did I get the spelling right?) yang Nadia jual kat pasar ramadhan tuh sedap aah..Yum!

mr sun is finally here..
:)

jauh di mata dekat di hati



they said absence makes the heart goes fonder..
oo really..??
well in your case Anina,SANGATLAH BETUL!!! haha.. (dammit,I have to admit that I actually miss you. Quoted somewhere in Mid-Jan, 2005, Petrosains :"Alaaa..Tak cool la kene ngaku miss miss orang nih"..I know Iknow..I take that back)
Your absence definitely makes my heart goes fonder!! (Cheewaah..I bet if u read this,memang dah gelak berguling-guling)
See,how strong your impact on me? (Isyh..isyh..Baaaad Anina)
Out of the blue,I was reminded of your 'Kegilaan'. Hehehe..
No one could sing that T-rex (this is the huge dinasour statue in Petrosains) song tuh hari-hari kat Petrosains plus the act as well..Cam dinaso!!! ("Hey kawan-kawan..Selamat dtg ke dunia ku...lalala..")
Or the time when we were caught red-handed dancing a.k.a berlakon buat video clip Relaku Pujuk on the surveillance camera in Discovery Station..
Or the time we were so immersed in updating with each other's gossips as if we have entered a different world (hoo..tak tipu..bercerite ngan makcik nih mmg tak ingat sekeliling dah..Gossip-monger!! )

Anyways Miss Anina, I would like to wish you a very happy belated 2xth birthday! May God bless you always..

there, there Najwa..shhh...

When you cannot find solace in things that usually cheer you up,
When you fail to get the encouragement that you need to motivate you ,
The best you can do is to find the strength in you by whatever means and keep going..

Bulan puasa ni banyak-banyak kan la amal ye Najwa. Semoga ditenangkan hati dan dikuatkan kesabaran...Aminn..
Takde pekdah nye rase down and complain-complain nih..

super duper love

Yeh are you diggin on me
Yeh yeh yeh
Im diggin on u now baby
Yeh do u wanna little bit of my love
Yeh wait a minute wait a minute

All the time i knew that you loved me
Because you were always there
Could i be that mistaken
Believing that you really care

In the presence of all my friends
You stood there holding my hand
And you promise me faithfully
That you will be my only man

Yeh are you diggin on me
Yeh yeh yeh
Im diggin on u now baby
Yeh do u wanna little bit of my love
Yeh wait a minute wait a minute

Everytime i walk down the street with you
Im as proud as a girl can be
Just to know that u r mine

In the presence of all my friends
You stood there holding my hand
And you promise me faithfully
That you will be my only man

Yeh are you diggin on me
Yeh yeh yeh
Im diggin on u now baby
Yeh do u wanna little bit of my love
Yeh wait a minute your love is super oh baby
See im trying to tell you
Your love is super duper
Super yes it is yes it is

Your love is
Your love is super
Are you diggin on me coz im diggin on you
Im just trying to tell you
Oh this love is super duper
Wait a minute
And all that good loving belongs to me

***
yeh yeh..im diggin on Joss Stone.
and yeh yeh..im super duper mentally exhausted..

(oi , are you diggin on me?)

because im a strong girl

motivator(s)

• 90% for TMAN 3001 Virotec essay
• 90% for Advanced Human Computer Interaction seminar (talking about bridges can be fun and satisfying..in a way)
• good progress in statistical analysis on SPSS (I soooo owe you Mark! Thanks zillionss..)
• managed to pull off the HCI progress report in the most effective way possible (Thanks for sticking with me all day long for 3 consecutive days)
• got an email saying: "calm down...buat keje slow2....insyallah boleh nye........ingattt!!!!!!!!!!!be strong...cz i know u are!!!! " (in the exact copy and paste form)Yeahh..I know..simple words je..But then in times like these (time aku tgh bengong), they are really really helpful.
• my supervisors amazement at my in-depth knowledge on statistical analysis (Lazaros..your da man!! ahahaha..)

Major demotivator(s):

• Could not go back to sleep after unintentionally waking up at 6 this morning. Slept at nearly 4. memangla tak cukup tido..Nyesal giler bangun.. Nyesal.Nyesal.Nyesal.Takde pekdah langsung.Lagi bertambah cranky ade laa..
• Yesterday i was all cranky. Mission to find a goddamn good listener to listen me,yapping on and on about how tragic my day was not accomplished. Ended up calling a dear friend of mine at a very odd hour.Eventhough your so far away but thanks giler aah! (Kau la satu-satunye harapan time time-time camnih)
• Still couldnt get the Metamodel concept into my head
• Mom suddenly had quite a serious bleeding from the previous accident.I was really overcome with panic and fear. Takut giler.Serious..(That explains why I was all cranky yesterday)
• I am still cranky today :(

I want to be happy cam kat atas tuh..

whining part I

Cam nak ternangis sebab penat sangat berlari ke sana sini hari ni kat uni (waah..they rhyme!)under the very hot hot sun.Plus,tak reti nak buat assignment Metamodel.Groupmate pon clueless.Went to see Bob Colomb for consultation.Funny thing is I could understand what he was saying during consultation time BUT when tried to map out the metamodel tak boleh laa pulak.I think I got the concept right..ke aku terdistract tgk his white beard yg sgt byk tuh sampai ter mis understand..Isk isk.. Pastuh sakit belakang semacam.Cam org tua la pulak sakit tulang.Aku perlukan whole body massage! Argghhhhh..Bengong + bongek laa camnih.. Ni yang homesick nih..

fariq otai

happy birthday dude!



p/s: tetibe terpanggil nak buat entry utk kau sementara hari nih tak habes lagi..hehe..many happy returns!!

unsettled najwa

i have been thinking about some things a lot lately. the thinking didnt took me far. not even the simplest solution. there is a simple way out but... benci nyer!! why laa i wasnt being smart enough to know what i want in the first place? want vs. need. do i know what i really want? kot.. but i dont want what i actually need. but after i got what i want, do i really need it? does it matter? again, typing this issue had already given me a terrible headache. i realized that i am at my most disorganized stage. unmotivated. unsettled. edgy. down. its not the pms. this brings me to the next roadblock. how in the world am i gonna complete the testing? stupid project!
really really not looking forward to going to Sydney this coming holiday. tapi dah bayar... wasnt even planning to go pun initially but then, decided to go at the very last minute.But now, dont feel like going at all.. very very very unsettled najwa indeed.

N.R

The day I got my initials on a necklace:


N: Najwa
R: err..Raduan..?? Hehe..


General knowledge for the day:

• 'cuci mata' = looking at the menu but not ordering.Something like, "Tengok boleh, pegang jangan". Geddit?
• Gimme an E for effort. Repeat after me e-f-f-o-r-t, EFFORT!!
• Untidy is great but dirty is uurrghhh..
• Marty Casey (the guy from RockStar:INXS show) is sexy. Nyiahaha.. Please download/listen to Trees and you will know why.
• PMS is not nearly as bad as everyone says. When your warned in advanced by your girlfriend,you must surely know to:

1. Cut her a bit of slack
2. Be extra attentive (I mean, EXTRA with a capital E..)
3. Go out

what happened in the past few weeks?

Merdeka nite
Held at UQ. Good performances, okay food, people dressing up = good fun!
"Zapin Zafana" was the dance. Good commitment and the spirit were high that night. Sampai terlucut sampin, ye Wan Sham..Hehe.. Lurveeeee the band! Gambar later!

dreamworld - goldcoast trip
Dreamworld is my favourite theme park among the other parks. Probably because I am not scared of heights or speed and I have strong stomach. Hehe.. Even though it was drizzling that day, we still had fun. Dropped by Surfers Paradise after that just to lepak and breathe in the beautiful scenery di kala mendung and took some piccies. Went to this 1 shop and saw some very cool models of mini cars and bikes. If I had enuff money tht time, memang laa dah lame beli that Ducati.

Presentation
Had one on Thursday. Nervous gila ba** before my turn came. Pelik. Cam laa tak pernah buat before nih. Padahal presentation biase je. Thesis nyer presentation pon lagi besar than this one tapi leh lepak plak. Luckily, my groupmate, Tom sedaya-upaye menenangkan aku yang maybe nampak huru-hara time tuh. Asked me to take a walk with him and made some small talks in order to make me feel at ease. Thanks, dude!

Girls nite in (ok ok,plus the guys as well)
Went to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Ramai-ramai. Was planning to sleep over at Nadiyas after that. Yela.. Kite merancang tuhan je yg menentukan.. Girls nite in ape nye. Last-last everyone ter lepak kat umah Nadiya. Main yg tulis-tulis kat kertas name org-perbuatan-anggota badan-name orang.. Haha.. Yes, I know it does sound silly. Tapi sumer org layan giler! Pastuh, main mafia-mafia lak. Seronok! This is my favourite "board game"! And then sambung lak citer hantu. Mule la sumer org rase cuak kan.. We were so into the game and seronok sangat that we didnt realized that hari dah terang kat luar..

Musim orang balik Malaysia
Lepas satu, satu orang balik. Ape nih? Why? Whyyyyy?? Memule Bahiah, and then Remi, pastuh Rabbit, Bijan lak and K.Fidah pon nak balik bersalin.. Yela, yela.. Gie la balik sumer orang.. Tinggal kan laa aku sorang-sorang kat sini.

Anyways, here is a picture which is totally irrelevant to my entry today. Reminded me so much of those sweet ol' times when we really had fun.



(l-r: me, kimah and huda)

my teeth and I

I browsed through some pictures just now.Pictures of me, me and my friends, me and you dll..Browsing through pictures is officially my favourite pastime at the moment!As if I got nothing better to do.But then, since that is the only thing that I can do to actually get on with my life peacefully.Buat je laa.Anyways,I noticed sumting while looking at the pictures.In one of the pictures where I had this wide grin onmy face,I noticed that I actually had a quite nice set of teeth.Straight and organized.Perasankah saye? Selamberr...I dont give a damn!!Miahahaha..Thanks to those 4 torturing years of wearing braces.Seb baik paid off..I hate it when I had the braces on.Cam geek!The only thing that keep me going was when I got the chance to choose the colourful rubber to be put on my teeth.Pink, Hijau,Baby blue, warna-warna pelangi..Excited semacam! Haha..Tapi doktor India tuh dengki doh.Sumtimes I dont get the coloured ones.He just gave me the plain ones (warna getah) instead.Dengki!!Dulu,I hated to smile because of the stupid braces.Conscious semacam.Nak tgk gamba2 mase ade braces dulu pon tak lalu.HUDUH!! But now,I can smile from ear to ear.Muahaha..Tunjuk sket hasil 4 thn pakai braces tuh.Hihihi..Tak best doh pakai braces.Nak makan susah.Kene selalu gosok gigi.Takleh makan chewing gum or sugus.Takleh gigit apple directly, kene potong dulu.Takleh makan mende-mende keras.Dahla banyak pantang makan.Selalu kene ulcer mulut lak tuh pasal besi.Tapi I didnt obey all the freaking rules laa kan.Ade sekali tuh braces tercabut sbb kunyah Sugus.Wahaha..Panic for a few minutes.Seb baik ok je pastuh.Tapi kene bebel ngan dentist India tuh (oo..Now I know why didnt get the colourful rubbers)..Esok-esok biler ade anak sendri,and if they have to put on the braces,make sure pakai mase kecik2.Dont be like me.Pakai after high school.And then continue mase kat kolej and uni.Tak best doh!

aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggghh...!!!!!!! part II


just a few hours left before 11.50 pm.

*sob*

crucial to-do-list

• trust my heart
• have faith in myself
• have faith in other things that matter so much
  

As for now, nope, I cant do any of these.
I just hope I can, so that I can stop blabbering, crying before I go to sleep and get on with my life in peace.

i like you

I like you.
I like you a whole lot.
I like you because
When something matters to me,
It matters to you, too.
When you have a good idea,
You tell me first
When I do, I tell you first.
Thats why we make such a great team.

I like you because
When I say something funny, you laugh,
And when Im not my usual self,
You notice right away
And ask me, "Whats wrong?"

You are there for me and Im there for you.
Thats what friends are for.

I like you because - I just do.
When somebody asks me who my best friend is,
I say, "You." And you say, "Me."
And fifty years from now,
We will ll say the same thing.

Thats the way it is and will always be
You can count on it!

I gave this to a dear friend of mine once.
Hey, I really meant it tau. Every single word. You know I am never ever good at saying stuff. For some reasons, I felt that words that usually came out from my mouth are always wrong. They are either spoken at the wrong time, just plain inappropriate, or worse, both. (I sounded quite mean sometimes especially bab nak luah-luah prasan tak best nih).

That is why I always wish that I can be a good conversationalist who will always know what to say. More importantly, being able to express what I think and how I feel in an effective way. Ntah ape problem nye, taktau ah. Nak cakap tak cukup education utk bercakap, mmg tak logic laa kan. Tension tau tak jadik org yg susah nak cakap nih. That is why I need people who can always encourage me to say things that are buried deep in my mind and heart. Bukan susah pun. Alaa.. Macam belajar reflective listening and body language. All those communication skills that you can practice to show that you are really listening to what the other person is saying and show how open and supportive you are towards the other person.

Haa tengok dah menyimpang jauh dah nih. Well, back to the poem above. Yes, I meant it when I gave it to you and I still mean it now. Up to now, you are the only person that I think fit all the description above. Some people just dont get what I said. Funny things lagi laa. You made me feel much appreciated. And thanks for that.

I felt like such a bum for not being able to be there yesterday to celebrate. I know I should. I really hope you had a great time. Being surrounded by good friends AND good food (I earned a bit of credits for that tiramisu!Hehe..)

I just did not expect that your birthday will be celebrated earlier. Because I was planning to do something special for you on your birthday. You know how I like doing all the sweet surprises. Hehe.. Rase amat satisfied melihat orang gembire kerana mendapat kejutan kejutan yang membahagiakan.

What you said a while ago, "Kawan menangis susah nak cari and kawan ketawa senang nak jumpe." Or something like that. I just hope that I am still both. Even though I know that we rarely see and talk to each other due to commitments and stuff but hey, I am always here if you ever need someone to listen to you.

I even feel a bit 'sebak' while writing this. It might be the pms. I do not know for sure. My life is an emotional roller-coaster these past few weeks.

Well, happy birthday and thanks for being you.

serious panic attack

TETIBE GILER RASE TAK SEDAP HATI!!!!!!





get what I mean? Tak sedap, tak sedaaaaap..!!!
HELP!

yang ku mau II

This is a 're-entry' of a previous post.I know some people might puke hearing another one of my rambling that clearly portray my obsession with Mt.Cootha.Cant help it.A heartfelt wish tht I dont know when it will come true.

dont go away

A cold and frosty morning theres not a lot to say
About the things caught in my mind
As the day was dawning your plane flew away
With all the things caught in my mind

And I wanna be there when youre...
Coming down
And I wanna be there when you hit the ground

So dont go away say what you say
But say that you ll stay
Forever and a day...in the time of my life
Cos I need more time yes I need more time
Just to make things right

Damn my situation and the games I have to play
With all the things caught in my mind
Damn my education I cant find the words to say
About all the things caught in my mind
Me and you whats going on?
All we seem to know is how to show
The feelings that are wrong

Remember when I said that songs make it easier to say stuff that are at times,hard to express? Yeap.This one here is another song that did just that..

Dont go away,
Just stay..

aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...!!!!!!!!!!!

a Desperate piece of advice

"Trust is a fragile thing. Once earned, it affords us tremendous freedom. But once trust is lost, it can be impossible to recover. Of course the truth is, we never know who we can trust. Those we are closest to can betray us. And total strangers can come to our rescue. In the end, most people decide to trust only themselves. It really is the simplest way to keep from getting burned."

See, watching Desperate Housewives is not just for mere source of entertainment.I can learn something from it too, at least something that I reckon I can relate to..

whatever will be will be

All of a sudden,I am terribly scared of where the recent uncertainty in my life will lead me next... Hisyhh... I hate this feeling.

B U S Y

s i c k

h.e.a.d.a.c.h.e

c a t a s t r o p h i c



be my remedy?..

Moments that take our breath away

As we get older, it is not the things that we did that we often regret (ok, sometimes laa) but the things that we didnt do. Oleh sebab itu, I like planning things. I know that not everything that I plan will go accordingly. But somehow, when I have got a plan, there is something that I can look forward to. This is what makes life more meaningful. It motivates me whenever I have something planned out. It is not just big plans (I am not sure how you ppl define big) like special dinners/function, go holidaying or even bigger things like future plans ke yang matters.. To me, even small silly things like gi grocery shopping at Coles ke, beli orange-poppy seed muffin kat main refec ke, walking along Brisbane river ke or anythinglaa dah cukup membuatkan hati ini berase gembira dan bersemangat. Barula ade reason nak start a new day. Eventhough these are small and simple things, but they are stuff of life that sometimes we all overlook. Lumrah kehidupan, we will only realize the importance of things or people when they all have been taken away. Biler dah ade depan mate, tak reti reti nak appreciate. Biler dah hilang, barula terhegeh-hegeh nak nyesal. Hence, we must make the most out of every single day. Take notice of ordinary things that we always take for granted. We all have different definition of these things that we called ordinary. Lain orang, lain la expectation nye. Tapi tak salah kalau kite letak sedikit effort utk cube jadi lebih appreciative. Eventhough what you are trying to do might sound silly to other people, tapi biarlah kan. Sometimes, it upsets me when people do not have plans. Not that I am forcing everyone around me to be a strict supper-planner but this go-with-the-flow belief somehow, irritates me. Bukan laa salah taknak plan apepe, biar je ikut flow, bukan tak boleh, boleh.. Tengok situation laa kan. Orang boleh cakap nanti frust or sia-sia je plan, alih-alih tak jadi. Memangla. Sape yg tak tension bile bende yang plan tak jadi. Tapi dari takde effort langsung nak cube, the least we can do is try. I understand that some people have their own reasons for just letting life taking its own toll. Maybe they are afraid of what they plan might actually come true, maybe they are just too scared or just plain lazy. But whatever the reason is, wouldnt it be nicer when you have something to look forward to?

general rambling

Today was good,in general.I had lectures from 10 am till late in the evening.Surprisingly,I felt quite good (for certain things) and displeased, distressed, disppointed, dissatisfied, saddened, whatever you may call it, because of certain things. Well,it was (and still is) only one main thing that I am mad about but I just feel like using plural forms here.

Got my Business Process assignment back.It was sh** disasterous.I got it all wrong.Satu pon tak betol.Sangat-sangatla terase bodoh sekejap dikala itu.Luckily,she said I could resubmit, provided that I do it more carefully this time. (Thank you God!) Lagipun,Shazia IS a nice lecturer.I kinda expected that this will happen.Heh.Then, went to TMAN3001 lecture.I think im gonna really like this course.Why? Besides the assessments are not that hard (I hope), I get to meet Nan,Mapen,Fuad and Fazz during the lecture.Never in my life I have this many melayu Malaysians (yang kenal rapat..kan korang kan..?) in my class.So,best la.After lect, went to main refec wif Nan and Mapen. Had lunch and spent the noon borak-borak.Dah lame la gak tak borang lame camnih esp about stuff yg tak selalu diborakkan :)

I think most people will notice the 'green' students around uni within this week.Students International House yg dok promote Soiree diorang.Best gak Soiree.International food (but tak sume leh makan) and International cultural performances.The presence of 'orang-orang hijau' tuh somehow managed to light up the UQ environment a bit.Colourful.EKKA pun dah start.Nak gie ke haa? Dunno laa.. Went there last year.God knows how much I spent.Tapi best gak if pegi lagi.As long as I have got good company to go with.

Aarghh..dah banyak cerite bende-bende best yang happened today,I still feel displeased, distressed, disppointed, dissatisfied, saddened (whatever you may call it).Bongek.Bongek.Bongek. Sabar sabar. 1,2,3....Fooh.... Bosan siy**!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways,I am really looking forward to this wekend (with/without EKKA or Soiree).At least,I have something special and beneficial to do.Yay!!

Are things getting more and more complicated or is it just me who is becoming less intelligent?

I am taking a subject which requires me to investigate/study/analyze Brisbanes Green Bridge project which will link Dutton Park and UQ. (Find more info about it here.)

From its name, clearly I have to spend this whole semester studying about bridge. Fun stuff, I would say, to get the chance to let my so-called creativity to think of questions like; what are the devices that can be added to make the bridge more appealing? What sort of facilities can attract more people to use it and at the same time saves energy?

My groupmates and I had several discussions on how to make the bridge use sustainable energy so that it is environmental friendly. Some of our ideas included monkey bars for those who have strong arms (but what about the old citizens?), slingshot that basically will shoot people to the other side (target location can change: must put safety net around the bridge), treadmills for pedestrians to cross the river to the other end, rats/chimps on treadmills instead of humans etc etc etc. If only my brain cells can allow me to think beyond my normal level of thinking. I need to be more creative here! I remembered that when I was in high school we had this mind-mapping thing before starting an essay. I loved that at that time coz I always got some ideas and good solutions to answer the essay. The question must be much easier back then but still, I could generate my own ideas. But now, I find a bit hard to do that. Too much msg in food kot..otak pun agak lembap laa…

i think im paranoid*
*someone who exhibits extreme and irrational fear or distrust of others

You can look, but you cant touch
I dont think I like you much
Heaven knows what a girl can do
Heaven knows what youve got to prove

I think Im paranoid
And complicated
I think I'm paranoid
Manipulate it

Bend me, break me
Anyway you need me
All I want is you
Bend me, break me
Breaking down is easy
All I want is you
I fall down just to give you a thrill
Prop me up with another pill
If I should fail, if I should fold
I nailed my faith to the sticking pole

I think Im paranoid
Manipulate it
I think Im paranoid
And complicated

Paranoid I think Im paranoid

Steal me, deal me, anyway you heal me
Maim me, tame me, you can never change me
Love me, like me, come ahead and fight me
Please me, tease me, go ahead and leave me
Bend me
Break me
Anyway you need me
As long as I want you baby it's all right

Bend me break me
Any way you need me
As long as I want you baby it's all right

paranoids love Garbage!

nothing intriguing crossed my mind

hence this picture..



giler cool aah rambut die!!


(will ban Brisbane school of hairdressing for a while)

wishy wish

There are so many things that I wish I could be.For example,I wish I was more outgoing and outspoken so that I could talk to anyone and befriend more people. I also wish I was more emotionally detached so that I could stop being so sensitive coz it made me feel so vulnerable and helpless and bloated with feelings of guilt sometimes.I wish I was funny and witty so that I could say all the clever things and make people laugh.I wish I had a stronger mind so that I could for once ignore what other people would think and say about me.I wish I was a better mind-reader so that I would know the things to do satisfy and make other people happy. I wish I was less selfish and be a more giving person.I wish I was more optimistic so that I could worry less, loosen up a bit and enjoy the many things that life could offer.I wish I could have more fun without thinking about the consequences later.I wish I was more spontaneious, fun and entertaining.I wish I was slimmer.I wish I have longer, shapely legs (Haha). I wish I... I wish, I wish, I wish...

aku dah bosan!

tak sabanye nak tunggu grad ujong tahun nih
tak sabanye nak balik Malaysia balik
tak sabanye nak tunggu umur 26 tahun
tak sabanye nak pindah rumah baru
tak sabanye nak belaja bawak keta and of course, ade keta sendri
tak sabanye nak duduk sendri
tak sabanye nak... macam-macam aah..

seberapa pantas

assalamualaikum and hello!
im back in Brissy.Safely touched the ground of Queensland and breathed in the winter air last Monday,11th. Holiday terpakse dipendekkan.Was supposed to be an ultimate holidayer till 21st July. Cam baru je semalam sampai KL. Just 10 days. Nak makan goreng pisang pun tak sempat!Anyways, during my short time in Msia, I managed to kerja for 3 days at Petrosains..Hehe..Best! Sebab kat situ boleh laa nak catch up ngan rakan-rakan,tukar-tukar gossip dan sebagainye.I was soo lucky that K.Anina,Mujtahid,Syafiq,Arrifin, Farah and Huzaifah were still there. Its still the same science centre. Same routine and almost the same people.Some I was most delighted to see and some..well,lets just say, I just culdnt stand the sight of them.

And also, I met up with Kimah!! Kimah dearie..By any chance if your reading this,I am truly sorry for not being able to stay longer.sigh.Kena balik cepat.Lucky I went to see you that day.At least boleh tanya2 khabar, even for a short while.Next time I promise I will make myself available for you to belanja kayh!! Muahhh!!

Quite sad gak this time mase nak balik that day kat KLIA.My mom just dropped me off.Kesian dia tak larat nak send me off properly because of her still recovering legs.She can only walk with crutches and if nak gi grocery shopping ke (cam hari tuh) must use wheelchair. Luckily she can already drive.Yay! I know I should be driving her but then takleh nak wat camne kan.. Ni pun dah cukup rase miserable yang amatlah sangat.Sigh.I just cant imagine how my younger sist and bro and of course of my dad, took care of her needs for the last few months.Mase baru-baru lagi accident,she was still very very weak.Memang kena jaga dgn serba teliti nye.Nak gi toilet,nak mandi,nak makan etc etc.. Itah and Aiman,thanks yah.. Even for that short while I was at home,I did what I could to help her.Time-time camnilah kite kene jage mak kite..Baru lah rase camne susahnye mak kite jage kite mase kite kecik-kecik dulu.Ni baru sorang je mak.Kalau mak yang ada ramai anak tuh tak dapatlah nak bayangkan camne.

IFRAN!!
Oitz!! Alaaaaaaaaa..Your not in Brisbane anymore. SOB! We are so gonna miss you here. I am pretty sure skarang nih,kalau bunyi jarum jatuh pun boleh dengar kot kat unit 4 tuh. No more 'melalak' session. Aman dan damai lah Richard and Bernadette kerane unit 4 tidak akan bising seperti dulu lagi. Haha.. Tapi tak bestlaa kau takde..Serius!
Thank you for all your advices, jokes,MJ walk,openness,air coklat yg best, teman aku mase aku tgh boring and depressed etc etc..Banyak giler kalau nak list out kan semua. And sorry for everyting jugak.Tak sempat nak hang out pun mase balik that day.What happened to our plan of going to a mamak stall in Gombak yang ade salsa dancers tuh?Hehe..Next time tau..

rentetan peristiwa

Several meaningful happenings in the past few weeks which I wanted to post but didnt due to my 'endless hectic life'. Plus, I will be away for 3 weeks and might not be posting anything interesting.(at the time of this entry is typed,I am already in KL)..
And just in case, if anyone misses me during my absence, you people can always have a sneak at the piccies here..Haha..

Rollerblading bersama rakan-rakan




my 22nd birthday


Home-made pizzas + cheesecake: Effort by those yg concern and really care tht I have a very happy 22nd..


himpunan hadiah-hadiah. Many many thanks!

Also not in the picture: Birthday smses + wishes + calls esp frm yg jauh2 di sana, sling bag frm me familia and birthday cards.. T H A N K S!


memorable outings..

point to ponder

All of a sudden, I think I am being unreasonable and a bit selfish that I scare myself..
Is it because I expect too much or things are just being the way they are and I am the one who needs to get used to it? Entah laa..



Btw, I have added some more links (some websites + frens blogs). This should be done waaaay earlier but sori ye rakan2, saye seorang yang pelupe :)

life after exam pt.II

Semuanya bermula di sini..


My oriental clutch bag and a mug of hot choc were witnesses to what happened on the night of our outing to The 3 Monkeys


Everyone seems normal before the abduction..


Hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil


Sambungan of the no-evil-fellowship..Miahaha!


Waiting to be abducted by a spaceship..


After the abduction: Everyone got superpowers..



Disclaimer: The pictures above are moments captured on the girls nite out. Probably the aftermath upon finishing exams. Kazzilions of apologies if you are emotionally distressed by them :)

life after exam

It has been quite some time since the last time we had a girls nite out. So, we had one yesterday. Ramai-ramai (not really ramai la, satu keta je) went to everyones favourite hang-out place, 3 Monkeys. We ordered Hot Mocha, Muguccino (tol ak spelling Rabs?), Hot Choc and Iced Choc as well as some cakes. Raspberry White Chocolate Cheesecake and Chocolate Mud Cake. Sedap sangat-sangat. Tgh type nih pon terliur lagi. Ehehe.. I even tapau a slice of that Raspberry cake. Punye laa sedap..Nak suruh org lain rase jugak betape yummy nye cake tu.. And then, we had a session of 'gigam'. Macam2 posing adaa.. We noticed that the 2 guys sitting next to our table trying hard not to laugh watching us yg kejap dok seblah sane, pastuh kat sini plak, tarik kerusi laa, cube buat muke 'savvy'.. Hahaha.. We were clearly making ourselves at home. Adegan 'gigam' tidak berhenti di situ sahaja. On our way back, we stopped by the UFO-thing which is just next to 3 Monkeys. Amik gamba kat situ pulak. Kereta2 yg stop kat traffic lights tuh sure ingat kitorg tgh ade ritual pemujaan ke or jakun nye minah-minah nih.. Lantak laa kan.. Bukan selalu. Haha..Will letak several piccies later. Mak called just now. They were on their way to Muadzam, Pahang to send my younger sist off to Uniten. She will be doing pre-u in Accountancy. Hehe.. Soo not in the plan.. Takpela Itah.. Tu pun kire ok jugak.. All the best! Will visit you there when I go back next week okay! Speaking of going back, counting the days je nih nak balik Malaysia. Tapi have to go through Pet interview dulu.. Urggh.. Takmo! Suddenly, I am not that enthusiastic to balik. Isyhh.. I know I should be happy like, wheeeeeeee..!! Best nye nak balik! Yeah, rite.. Pastuh, sekarang nih rase sangap gler. The girls went to the city just now. I just dont feel like going out. Pastuh boring dok umah. Padan laa muka sendri. Luckily Rabs at home. If not, mmg mati kutu.. Pegi city esok, jom??

take me away




take me away
take me away
Ive got nothing left to say
just take me away
dont give up on me yet
dont forget who I am
I know Im not there yet
but dont let me stay here alone..

saya sudah merdeka!!

Finished my exam last Friday exactly at 10.15 am.Yay! I am officially off the hook. But I still have one more report to complete but it should be ok I reckon :) The first thing that I did after my last exam was heading straight to the city.Best best.Bought some stuff like scented candles and aromatherapic fragrances.In times like these, I love going shopping alone.I dont have to wait for other ppl to choose the top that they want to buy and can spend as long as I want in a shop.Hehe.But there are times when shopping berjemaah adalah sangat-sangat dialu-alukan. And then later in the evening,me,ili,remy,wan,hafiz,nan,amar and ifran went to watch movie at Southbank.Initially, we wanted to watch Mr & Mrs Smith but sold out laa plak.Ended up watching Batman Begins.It was good.For those yg nak tau camne Bruce Wayne boleh jadi Batman(like me),sure rase movie nih worth watching...

Will pick up my flight ticket tomorrow.I cant believe that I am going back this winter break.Have never done this before.A spontanieous decision that I made during Swotvac.I hope I will have fun back home.I just want to relax and unwind.Too many things happened and too much stress.Eventhough I know I will miss Brisbane for 3 weeks(quite badly) but this might just be the getaway that I need.Hehe..

All For Believing
(another brilliant song by Missy Higgins)

Pull back the shield between us, and Ill kiss you
Drop your defenses and come, into my arms

Im all for believing, Im all for believing
Im all for believing if you can reveal the true colours within

I know you blanket your mind so much that I am blind but I,
I see you have painted your soul into your guard
Im all for believing, I'm all for believing

I need to know just how you feel, to comfort you
I need to find the key let me in, into your heart, to find your soul
Pull back the shield between us, and Ill kiss you
Drop your defenses and come, into my arms
Im all for believing, Im all for believing

Im all for believing, if you can reveal, the true colours within
And say you will be there for me to hold

When the faith grows old
And life turns cold
When the faith grows old and life turns cold

So if you are cold I will stay, maybe fate will guide the way
I believe in what I see and baby we were meant to be
Just believe
Just believe
Just believe
Trust in me

--------
I REALLY am all for believing:

I believe that I will pass my INFS4205 exam. (Tolong laa pass..Tolooong laaa..)
I believe that I will do well in MGTS3601 exam.
I believe that I will have tremendous fun in Malaysia when I go back for holiday.
I believe that I will get through my interview easily.
I believe that I will leave a good impression on the interviewers. (Hehe..Sangat2 wish!)
I believe that I will graduate at the end of this year.
I believe that I made the right decision.
I believe in you.

So, help me God.Do not let all the things that I believe in, dissapoint me.

For those who still have exams, Good luck!!

weeeeeee...

In the midst of a critical-tak-cukup-mase-nak-study-for-exam situation, I just wanna say:
tralalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala

:)

sometimes, some songs make it easier to express things that are hard to say..

Im losing you
Im losing all control
Just let me be
Let me be alone for now
I want to be alone tonight

Once and again we ve gone off track
And lost all hope for coming back
It's time to restart again
And try all over again

Its time to work
The work is useless now
Can't you see
Your help is lost to me
I want to be alone tonight

Rooney - Losing all control

chaos

A lot happened this week. Some were good, some were bad. Some were sweet, some were bitter. One thing for sure: I learnt a lot. There were too many things that I wanted to say that it twinged if I didnt just blurt it all out. Its high-time for everyone. SWOTVAC is here! Sumer org pon busy study. Saye juge yg tak start2 lagi. Things just come and go unexpectedly. I am going back to Malaysia this July. Yay!! Yay coz I get to see my beloved family but not-so-yay as I was supposed to do some stuff for my honours project. But it was all worth it. My mom asked me to come home since she wanted to come here but couldnt because of her still-recovering knees. Me and me mom had a very long and deep phone conversation last nite. I dont know why but maybe she could hear the tense in my voice. She then asked me to balik to tenang-tenang kan fikiran. Honestly, I AM fine and calm. Nothing to be worried about. But then, since dah offer suruh balik, balik laa kan.. Hehe..

And then my friend whos studying in the US is going to the DCI Final. Tau enggak apa itu DCI Final? DCI stands for Drum Corps International. Its a major championship where top marching bands compete. I was like,"Aaaaarrrggghhh!Aku nak ikut jugak" when she told me this morning. Band-band hebat seperti Blue Devils, Madison Scouts and of course my favourite; The Cavaliers which I worship since form one, are all going to be there, performing proudly in the open field. I am sure none of these make sense to the general viewers. Sure korang cam, ek elee..Best ke bende-bende ni? But those yg used to be in a marching band or somehow interested in these kinda stuff tau laa kot betape best and hebatnye the bands I mentioned earlier and how supercallifragillicitexpelidocoius-cool nye if I could get the chance to watch them perform live even once. I envy you Wannani!!

The Drumline: smart giler tahap cih-pan!

(Once upon a time, I used to play THAT and did something like wht they did in the pic..I wanted to be back in the band.Obviously I am still-not-over-the-excitement-of-playing-snare phase..Hoho..Weyh,dahlaa..Move on ok!)

as requested



danesz, this ones for u babe! hehe..
cudnt find the "i m not your puppet" pic..