point to ponder

All of a sudden, I think I am being unreasonable and a bit selfish that I scare myself..
Is it because I expect too much or things are just being the way they are and I am the one who needs to get used to it? Entah laa..



Btw, I have added some more links (some websites + frens blogs). This should be done waaaay earlier but sori ye rakan2, saye seorang yang pelupe :)

life after exam pt.II

Semuanya bermula di sini..


My oriental clutch bag and a mug of hot choc were witnesses to what happened on the night of our outing to The 3 Monkeys


Everyone seems normal before the abduction..


Hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil


Sambungan of the no-evil-fellowship..Miahaha!


Waiting to be abducted by a spaceship..


After the abduction: Everyone got superpowers..



Disclaimer: The pictures above are moments captured on the girls nite out. Probably the aftermath upon finishing exams. Kazzilions of apologies if you are emotionally distressed by them :)

life after exam

It has been quite some time since the last time we had a girls nite out. So, we had one yesterday. Ramai-ramai (not really ramai la, satu keta je) went to everyones favourite hang-out place, 3 Monkeys. We ordered Hot Mocha, Muguccino (tol ak spelling Rabs?), Hot Choc and Iced Choc as well as some cakes. Raspberry White Chocolate Cheesecake and Chocolate Mud Cake. Sedap sangat-sangat. Tgh type nih pon terliur lagi. Ehehe.. I even tapau a slice of that Raspberry cake. Punye laa sedap..Nak suruh org lain rase jugak betape yummy nye cake tu.. And then, we had a session of 'gigam'. Macam2 posing adaa.. We noticed that the 2 guys sitting next to our table trying hard not to laugh watching us yg kejap dok seblah sane, pastuh kat sini plak, tarik kerusi laa, cube buat muke 'savvy'.. Hahaha.. We were clearly making ourselves at home. Adegan 'gigam' tidak berhenti di situ sahaja. On our way back, we stopped by the UFO-thing which is just next to 3 Monkeys. Amik gamba kat situ pulak. Kereta2 yg stop kat traffic lights tuh sure ingat kitorg tgh ade ritual pemujaan ke or jakun nye minah-minah nih.. Lantak laa kan.. Bukan selalu. Haha..Will letak several piccies later. Mak called just now. They were on their way to Muadzam, Pahang to send my younger sist off to Uniten. She will be doing pre-u in Accountancy. Hehe.. Soo not in the plan.. Takpela Itah.. Tu pun kire ok jugak.. All the best! Will visit you there when I go back next week okay! Speaking of going back, counting the days je nih nak balik Malaysia. Tapi have to go through Pet interview dulu.. Urggh.. Takmo! Suddenly, I am not that enthusiastic to balik. Isyhh.. I know I should be happy like, wheeeeeeee..!! Best nye nak balik! Yeah, rite.. Pastuh, sekarang nih rase sangap gler. The girls went to the city just now. I just dont feel like going out. Pastuh boring dok umah. Padan laa muka sendri. Luckily Rabs at home. If not, mmg mati kutu.. Pegi city esok, jom??

take me away




take me away
take me away
Ive got nothing left to say
just take me away
dont give up on me yet
dont forget who I am
I know Im not there yet
but dont let me stay here alone..

saya sudah merdeka!!

Finished my exam last Friday exactly at 10.15 am.Yay! I am officially off the hook. But I still have one more report to complete but it should be ok I reckon :) The first thing that I did after my last exam was heading straight to the city.Best best.Bought some stuff like scented candles and aromatherapic fragrances.In times like these, I love going shopping alone.I dont have to wait for other ppl to choose the top that they want to buy and can spend as long as I want in a shop.Hehe.But there are times when shopping berjemaah adalah sangat-sangat dialu-alukan. And then later in the evening,me,ili,remy,wan,hafiz,nan,amar and ifran went to watch movie at Southbank.Initially, we wanted to watch Mr & Mrs Smith but sold out laa plak.Ended up watching Batman Begins.It was good.For those yg nak tau camne Bruce Wayne boleh jadi Batman(like me),sure rase movie nih worth watching...

Will pick up my flight ticket tomorrow.I cant believe that I am going back this winter break.Have never done this before.A spontanieous decision that I made during Swotvac.I hope I will have fun back home.I just want to relax and unwind.Too many things happened and too much stress.Eventhough I know I will miss Brisbane for 3 weeks(quite badly) but this might just be the getaway that I need.Hehe..

All For Believing
(another brilliant song by Missy Higgins)

Pull back the shield between us, and Ill kiss you
Drop your defenses and come, into my arms

Im all for believing, Im all for believing
Im all for believing if you can reveal the true colours within

I know you blanket your mind so much that I am blind but I,
I see you have painted your soul into your guard
Im all for believing, I'm all for believing

I need to know just how you feel, to comfort you
I need to find the key let me in, into your heart, to find your soul
Pull back the shield between us, and Ill kiss you
Drop your defenses and come, into my arms
Im all for believing, Im all for believing

Im all for believing, if you can reveal, the true colours within
And say you will be there for me to hold

When the faith grows old
And life turns cold
When the faith grows old and life turns cold

So if you are cold I will stay, maybe fate will guide the way
I believe in what I see and baby we were meant to be
Just believe
Just believe
Just believe
Trust in me

--------
I REALLY am all for believing:

I believe that I will pass my INFS4205 exam. (Tolong laa pass..Tolooong laaa..)
I believe that I will do well in MGTS3601 exam.
I believe that I will have tremendous fun in Malaysia when I go back for holiday.
I believe that I will get through my interview easily.
I believe that I will leave a good impression on the interviewers. (Hehe..Sangat2 wish!)
I believe that I will graduate at the end of this year.
I believe that I made the right decision.
I believe in you.

So, help me God.Do not let all the things that I believe in, dissapoint me.

For those who still have exams, Good luck!!

weeeeeee...

In the midst of a critical-tak-cukup-mase-nak-study-for-exam situation, I just wanna say:
tralalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala

:)

sometimes, some songs make it easier to express things that are hard to say..

Im losing you
Im losing all control
Just let me be
Let me be alone for now
I want to be alone tonight

Once and again we ve gone off track
And lost all hope for coming back
It's time to restart again
And try all over again

Its time to work
The work is useless now
Can't you see
Your help is lost to me
I want to be alone tonight

Rooney - Losing all control

chaos

A lot happened this week. Some were good, some were bad. Some were sweet, some were bitter. One thing for sure: I learnt a lot. There were too many things that I wanted to say that it twinged if I didnt just blurt it all out. Its high-time for everyone. SWOTVAC is here! Sumer org pon busy study. Saye juge yg tak start2 lagi. Things just come and go unexpectedly. I am going back to Malaysia this July. Yay!! Yay coz I get to see my beloved family but not-so-yay as I was supposed to do some stuff for my honours project. But it was all worth it. My mom asked me to come home since she wanted to come here but couldnt because of her still-recovering knees. Me and me mom had a very long and deep phone conversation last nite. I dont know why but maybe she could hear the tense in my voice. She then asked me to balik to tenang-tenang kan fikiran. Honestly, I AM fine and calm. Nothing to be worried about. But then, since dah offer suruh balik, balik laa kan.. Hehe..

And then my friend whos studying in the US is going to the DCI Final. Tau enggak apa itu DCI Final? DCI stands for Drum Corps International. Its a major championship where top marching bands compete. I was like,"Aaaaarrrggghhh!Aku nak ikut jugak" when she told me this morning. Band-band hebat seperti Blue Devils, Madison Scouts and of course my favourite; The Cavaliers which I worship since form one, are all going to be there, performing proudly in the open field. I am sure none of these make sense to the general viewers. Sure korang cam, ek elee..Best ke bende-bende ni? But those yg used to be in a marching band or somehow interested in these kinda stuff tau laa kot betape best and hebatnye the bands I mentioned earlier and how supercallifragillicitexpelidocoius-cool nye if I could get the chance to watch them perform live even once. I envy you Wannani!!

The Drumline: smart giler tahap cih-pan!

(Once upon a time, I used to play THAT and did something like wht they did in the pic..I wanted to be back in the band.Obviously I am still-not-over-the-excitement-of-playing-snare phase..Hoho..Weyh,dahlaa..Move on ok!)

as requested



danesz, this ones for u babe! hehe..
cudnt find the "i m not your puppet" pic..

it sure feels like shit and..



.. for that

*I am in dire need of retail theraphy*

the day i turned 22..


i know that we are gonna celebrate my birthday at Pancake Manor's..


but I did not expect THIS!! :)


me, still overwhelmed by what just happened..

Many thanks to everyone who made last night a night not to be forgotten.Heh..Seriously, I am still touched by korang nye sweetness nih.. :) Giler tak larat!! And also thank you for the homemade pizzas, apple pie and cheesecake. I felt soo gemok but happy..Hehe.. Thanks guys. You made my day!!

(Zillion thanks to Ili and Huda for your shoulders and ears.Words can never describe how glad I was to let it all out. Thanks for being there!)

statistical analysis = bengong, muak,bosan,tensi,sakit kepale,confused

Buat kira-kira statistic to analyze questionnaire adalah saaaaaangat memeningkan.

Sesungguhnya,sekarang ini:



adalah...



Sekian, terima kasih.

I want this sooo bad sampai mimpi.

h u g e r e l i e f

The presentation was alright. I was a nervous wreck by the time it was my turn to present. Second person for today. The first person was a Chinese guy with his "Digital Archaeological Library" project. I was relieved when Lazaros came in the room. And was a bit surprised when he came with Sean. But it was a pleasant one though. Hoho. They both were my lecturers last sem. But I didnt like Sean at tht time coz I think he had quite a wicked sense of humour. Very sarcastic and suke kenekan org. Very dry British jokes. And not funny at all. Hoho. But then, I realized he was actually quite nice. Especially when he helped me out with my thesis this sem. A cool guy I would say for his age. I am not sure how old he is (I am pretty sure hes quite old) but I know he listens to all those grunge-alternative-rock music. This one day, I saw his cd collection in his office. There were American Idiot, Absolution, Franz Ferdinand, Blur to name a few and lots of others yg tak ingat dah. Tapi sumer rock bands. Giler banyak cd die. Serius! Cool la Sean.. I also remember last sem when some of us were begging him to extend the submission due date because of Muse nye concert, he was pretty lenient about it. Ntah2 die pon pegi jugak. Hehe.. Anyways, I was really grateful tht Sean did ask me a question tht I can answer during my presentation just now. However, kantoi jugak laa when Lazaros asked me sumting about the reality centre. From where I was standing, I could see Sean smiling sebab dia tau aku kantoi! Adusss.. but then he said it was alrite. Overall performance was good. Yay! Before they both went out, Sean sempat tanye: <I reckon you should help me lecturing next sem> Aha!! Very funny Sean. I take that as a compliment! :p I just managed to put a big smile on my face at tht time. Tak larat nak reply. Dah cukup cuak dah tadi.. Esok gue kene conduct experiment pulak. Sesape yg involved, esok tau, jangan lupe!

thesis seminar presentation : 24 May 2005 [11.40 am , 78 - 622]

The 'cuak'est moment (the one that I have been waiting for but hope it wouldnt come) will come tomorrow.Its either I strut my stuff successfully and wow the audience (esp Lazaros) or screwed up big time. Though I would really looooove to have the former but the latter is just as possible. I sure need all the luck in the world and pray that everything will run as smooth as possible.

some of the trivial things that matter to me

• I am nervous because I have a major presentation coming up this Tuesday.
• I am also nervous because MOCK interview is next weekend but I am happy because this means I get to go to Sydney even for a short while. A weekend getaway from the hectic uni schedule is great.
• I am overjoyed because I can still put on my earrings. Lubang tindik is still ok. Yay!!
• I am eager to have coffee with my favourite Orange-and-Poppy-Seeds Muffin after this. Yum!
• I am delighted because I heard my fave song You and Me (by Lifehouse) on the radio just now when showering.
• I am feeling really fat because this is my fat week and I ate much worse than a tapir.
• I am contented because I expected something happy to happen to me some times this week.
• I am also worried because what I expected might not turn out the way I wanted them to be.
• I am feeling slightly sluggish because of Potret Mistik at 4 am in the morning.
• I am motivated and inspired because I feel my artistic sense urging me to do something creative like designing and painting on a t-shirt.
• I am happy because I am just happy today.

P/S: To those who are wondering what is a tapir, it is the largest of the species and is distinguished by its unusual coloration. The rear half of the body above the legs is white. And it is related to horses and rhinos but not to pigs. And also, 'Potret Mistik' adelah tak mistik langsung ok. How could an old crazy woman (played by Khatijah Tan, she was good but the movie just sux) who might not be exposed to technology and modern appliances (given the fact that she IS crazy and duduk terkurung kat dlm rumah), could possibly reply MMS and drive a car which still looked nice and kinda sporty. Ape? Die sempat pegi hantar workshop utk repair ke?

breathe and stop

we wanted the best of everything without realizing that sometimes these things are not the best things for us after all because we wanted all the wrong things in the first place..

i still have:

• Thesis seminar presentation next Tuesday - crapping for 15 mins and answer questions for 5 mins(in which i think i will probably crap again) :p
• Multimedia and Spatial databases assignment. Worth 30% (Banyak!!) I still couldnt grasp what the lecturer is actually trying to teach us..This guy just graduated with a PHD but still very very young.. And so well-groomed..I am starting to think that he might actually be gay.(Ha!) No offense here to all the well-groomed straight guys out there.I just hope that I am wrong.Heh..
• Special Topic test - I need at least 5 participants for this experiment. Found 3 (insya allah) and need 2 more.. Jom korang! This should be fun..
• Special Topic Report - As usual, must do this after the experiment.This one should be okay I reckon
• Mock Interview - On the 28th May.Baru je pk nak dok umah diam2 that weekend..One word: c u a k! Reminding me that the real interview is just around the corner.Huhu..

will this sense of loss fade?

It was sunny in the morning and really rainy in the evening. Just like how I felt today. Very the cheery and happy in the morning and semakin mandom and terus kusam bila petang menjelang sampaila malam. Feelings I dont like but will somehow try to tolerate. What do I expect? Nak happy je 24/7? I wish!! Everything on this earth surface change ok. Harga minyak, fashion, umur, favourite food, tempat tinggal etc etc and of course people, change. Just like my mood laa. Tinggal lagi my mood is sometimes awfully far worse and much more susceptible to the change in its surrounding tahap takleh nak control if nak compare ngan bende2 lain yg tak stabil jugak. Huh.. Have you ever felt so annoyed at the very sight of someone? Tengok kelibat je,dah aarrrrggghh!! Takmau2.. Teruk kan? Isk isk.. Or sometimes you felt so betrayed or cheated or used (dipergunakan) coz you didn’t get what you want though you have tried play your role the best that you can. *sigh*. And the other party is like <Yey! Look at me, Look at me, Look at what I got!> Enggak fair!!! And there are times when you feel people are being nice to you because they want something from you? Yes, I am being paranoid. And also, I am impatient with things moving too slowly, ok. Tak paham-paham lagi ke?? You think I got all the time in this world, izzit?? You must be crazy.. or just plain lembab. Yes, I know change is important. It helps you grow and be a better person. There is even a course teaching UQ students about change in organizations and how to manage it (I am taking it this sem). But, I really wish some things never change. Because when they do change, I feel a huge sense of loss and jadik macam ni..

worth waiting for..

The 4th season of Smallville is just great.Not that I have watched the finale but up to the 18th episode,the story just gets better.I know it is such a grand spoiler to all the avid Smallville fans out there tapi nak bagitau jugak!! Hehe..In this episode, finally Clark Kent had the chance of having the last dance with Lana,during their senior prom.Lame tuuu kene tunggu.I have a feeling that they wont end up together this season.And not sure that they will, ever.Its just a hunch though :)

the joined hands, the last dance and the song they last danced to..

What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I cant keep up and I can' back down
Ive been losing so much time

Cause its you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I cant keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say just arent coming out right
Im tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause its you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And its you and me and all of the people
And I dont know why, I cant keep my eyes off of you

Theres something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause its you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I dont know why, I cant keep my eyes off of you
and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And its you and me and all of the people
And I dont know why, I cant keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive

:: You and me - l i f e h o u s e ::

so, what did you do during the weekend?

I was utterly depressed on Friday night. But it was all paid off when Saturday came. Well, initially I was still a bit miserable when I woke up that morning. We had a gotong-royong, rearranging and reorganizing the surau library. Bapak banyakkk reading materials. And so were the other irrelevant stuff. Ade ke patut simpan kurma and cordial dalam almari which was meant for telekung and sejadah. Isyh isyh.. Bangkai lipas pun ade jugak. Feeling so worn out after the cleaning up and still gloomy I was really reluctant to go to Nadias birthday party. But then when seeing my housemates getting all excited to change and go, I was somehow triggered to go as well. At least takde la layan sedeh sorang-sorang. The party turned out to be great. It was faboluso!! Full of fun, yummy food (nasi tomato and chocolate cheese cake.Hubba hubba!) and wacky camera-poses. And as a result, here are some of the great moments managed to be captured that day.


:: whos that girl? ::
busy at work


::melompat lebih tinggi. Weee!! ::
nadias party - this is just one of the many wacky acts


:: favourite snapshot ::


:: and another one ::
at the bustop,heading home after the party