Wednesday, August 31, 2005

yang ku mau II

This is a 're-entry' of a previous post.I know some people might puke hearing another one of my rambling that clearly portray my obsession with Mt.Cootha.Cant help it.A heartfelt wish tht I dont know when it will come true.

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Tuesday, August 30, 2005

dont go away

A cold and frosty morning theres not a lot to say
About the things caught in my mind
As the day was dawning your plane flew away
With all the things caught in my mind

And I wanna be there when youre...
Coming down
And I wanna be there when you hit the ground

So dont go away say what you say
But say that you ll stay
Forever and a day...in the time of my life
Cos I need more time yes I need more time
Just to make things right

Damn my situation and the games I have to play
With all the things caught in my mind
Damn my education I cant find the words to say
About all the things caught in my mind
Me and you whats going on?
All we seem to know is how to show
The feelings that are wrong

Remember when I said that songs make it easier to say stuff that are at times,hard to express? Yeap.This one here is another song that did just that..

Dont go away,
Just stay..

Monday, August 29, 2005

aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, August 28, 2005

a Desperate piece of advice

"Trust is a fragile thing. Once earned, it affords us tremendous freedom. But once trust is lost, it can be impossible to recover. Of course the truth is, we never know who we can trust. Those we are closest to can betray us. And total strangers can come to our rescue. In the end, most people decide to trust only themselves. It really is the simplest way to keep from getting burned."

See, watching Desperate Housewives is not just for mere source of entertainment.I can learn something from it too, at least something that I reckon I can relate to..

Thursday, August 25, 2005

whatever will be will be

All of a sudden,I am terribly scared of where the recent uncertainty in my life will lead me next... Hisyhh... I hate this feeling.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

B U S Y

s i c k

h.e.a.d.a.c.h.e

c a t a s t r o p h i c



be my remedy?..

Friday, August 19, 2005

Moments that take our breath away

As we get older, it is not the things that we did that we often regret (ok, sometimes laa) but the things that we didnt do. Oleh sebab itu, I like planning things. I know that not everything that I plan will go accordingly. But somehow, when I have got a plan, there is something that I can look forward to. This is what makes life more meaningful. It motivates me whenever I have something planned out. It is not just big plans (I am not sure how you ppl define big) like special dinners/function, go holidaying or even bigger things like future plans ke yang matters.. To me, even small silly things like gi grocery shopping at Coles ke, beli orange-poppy seed muffin kat main refec ke, walking along Brisbane river ke or anythinglaa dah cukup membuatkan hati ini berase gembira dan bersemangat. Barula ade reason nak start a new day. Eventhough these are small and simple things, but they are stuff of life that sometimes we all overlook. Lumrah kehidupan, we will only realize the importance of things or people when they all have been taken away. Biler dah ade depan mate, tak reti reti nak appreciate. Biler dah hilang, barula terhegeh-hegeh nak nyesal. Hence, we must make the most out of every single day. Take notice of ordinary things that we always take for granted. We all have different definition of these things that we called ordinary. Lain orang, lain la expectation nye. Tapi tak salah kalau kite letak sedikit effort utk cube jadi lebih appreciative. Eventhough what you are trying to do might sound silly to other people, tapi biarlah kan. Sometimes, it upsets me when people do not have plans. Not that I am forcing everyone around me to be a strict supper-planner but this go-with-the-flow belief somehow, irritates me. Bukan laa salah taknak plan apepe, biar je ikut flow, bukan tak boleh, boleh.. Tengok situation laa kan. Orang boleh cakap nanti frust or sia-sia je plan, alih-alih tak jadi. Memangla. Sape yg tak tension bile bende yang plan tak jadi. Tapi dari takde effort langsung nak cube, the least we can do is try. I understand that some people have their own reasons for just letting life taking its own toll. Maybe they are afraid of what they plan might actually come true, maybe they are just too scared or just plain lazy. But whatever the reason is, wouldnt it be nicer when you have something to look forward to?

Thursday, August 11, 2005

general rambling

Today was good,in general.I had lectures from 10 am till late in the evening.Surprisingly,I felt quite good (for certain things) and displeased, distressed, disppointed, dissatisfied, saddened, whatever you may call it, because of certain things. Well,it was (and still is) only one main thing that I am mad about but I just feel like using plural forms here.

Got my Business Process assignment back.It was sh** disasterous.I got it all wrong.Satu pon tak betol.Sangat-sangatla terase bodoh sekejap dikala itu.Luckily,she said I could resubmit, provided that I do it more carefully this time. (Thank you God!) Lagipun,Shazia IS a nice lecturer.I kinda expected that this will happen.Heh.Then, went to TMAN3001 lecture.I think im gonna really like this course.Why? Besides the assessments are not that hard (I hope), I get to meet Nan,Mapen,Fuad and Fazz during the lecture.Never in my life I have this many melayu Malaysians (yang kenal rapat..kan korang kan..?) in my class.So,best la.After lect, went to main refec wif Nan and Mapen. Had lunch and spent the noon borak-borak.Dah lame la gak tak borang lame camnih esp about stuff yg tak selalu diborakkan :)

I think most people will notice the 'green' students around uni within this week.Students International House yg dok promote Soiree diorang.Best gak Soiree.International food (but tak sume leh makan) and International cultural performances.The presence of 'orang-orang hijau' tuh somehow managed to light up the UQ environment a bit.Colourful.EKKA pun dah start.Nak gie ke haa? Dunno laa.. Went there last year.God knows how much I spent.Tapi best gak if pegi lagi.As long as I have got good company to go with.

Aarghh..dah banyak cerite bende-bende best yang happened today,I still feel displeased, distressed, disppointed, dissatisfied, saddened (whatever you may call it).Bongek.Bongek.Bongek. Sabar sabar. 1,2,3....Fooh.... Bosan siy**!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways,I am really looking forward to this wekend (with/without EKKA or Soiree).At least,I have something special and beneficial to do.Yay!!

Monday, August 08, 2005

Are things getting more and more complicated or is it just me who is becoming less intelligent?

I am taking a subject which requires me to investigate/study/analyze Brisbanes Green Bridge project which will link Dutton Park and UQ. (Find more info about it here.)

From its name, clearly I have to spend this whole semester studying about bridge. Fun stuff, I would say, to get the chance to let my so-called creativity to think of questions like; what are the devices that can be added to make the bridge more appealing? What sort of facilities can attract more people to use it and at the same time saves energy?

My groupmates and I had several discussions on how to make the bridge use sustainable energy so that it is environmental friendly. Some of our ideas included monkey bars for those who have strong arms (but what about the old citizens?), slingshot that basically will shoot people to the other side (target location can change: must put safety net around the bridge), treadmills for pedestrians to cross the river to the other end, rats/chimps on treadmills instead of humans etc etc etc. If only my brain cells can allow me to think beyond my normal level of thinking. I need to be more creative here! I remembered that when I was in high school we had this mind-mapping thing before starting an essay. I loved that at that time coz I always got some ideas and good solutions to answer the essay. The question must be much easier back then but still, I could generate my own ideas. But now, I find a bit hard to do that. Too much msg in food kot..otak pun agak lembap laa…

Sunday, July 31, 2005

i think im paranoid*
*someone who exhibits extreme and irrational fear or distrust of others

You can look, but you cant touch
I dont think I like you much
Heaven knows what a girl can do
Heaven knows what youve got to prove

I think Im paranoid
And complicated
I think I'm paranoid
Manipulate it

Bend me, break me
Anyway you need me
All I want is you
Bend me, break me
Breaking down is easy
All I want is you
I fall down just to give you a thrill
Prop me up with another pill
If I should fail, if I should fold
I nailed my faith to the sticking pole

I think Im paranoid
Manipulate it
I think Im paranoid
And complicated

Paranoid I think Im paranoid

Steal me, deal me, anyway you heal me
Maim me, tame me, you can never change me
Love me, like me, come ahead and fight me
Please me, tease me, go ahead and leave me
Bend me
Break me
Anyway you need me
As long as I want you baby it's all right

Bend me break me
Any way you need me
As long as I want you baby it's all right

paranoids love Garbage!

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

nothing intriguing crossed my mind

hence this picture..

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giler cool aah rambut die!!


(will ban Brisbane school of hairdressing for a while)

Saturday, July 23, 2005

wishy wish

There are so many things that I wish I could be.For example,I wish I was more outgoing and outspoken so that I could talk to anyone and befriend more people. I also wish I was more emotionally detached so that I could stop being so sensitive coz it made me feel so vulnerable and helpless and bloated with feelings of guilt sometimes.I wish I was funny and witty so that I could say all the clever things and make people laugh.I wish I had a stronger mind so that I could for once ignore what other people would think and say about me.I wish I was a better mind-reader so that I would know the things to do satisfy and make other people happy. I wish I was less selfish and be a more giving person.I wish I was more optimistic so that I could worry less, loosen up a bit and enjoy the many things that life could offer.I wish I could have more fun without thinking about the consequences later.I wish I was more spontaneious, fun and entertaining.I wish I was slimmer.I wish I have longer, shapely legs (Haha). I wish I... I wish, I wish, I wish...

Monday, July 18, 2005

aku dah bosan!

tak sabanye nak tunggu grad ujong tahun nih
tak sabanye nak balik Malaysia balik
tak sabanye nak tunggu umur 26 tahun
tak sabanye nak pindah rumah baru
tak sabanye nak belaja bawak keta and of course, ade keta sendri
tak sabanye nak duduk sendri
tak sabanye nak... macam-macam aah..

Friday, July 15, 2005

seberapa pantas

assalamualaikum and hello!
im back in Brissy.Safely touched the ground of Queensland and breathed in the winter air last Monday,11th. Holiday terpakse dipendekkan.Was supposed to be an ultimate holidayer till 21st July. Cam baru je semalam sampai KL. Just 10 days. Nak makan goreng pisang pun tak sempat!Anyways, during my short time in Msia, I managed to kerja for 3 days at Petrosains..Hehe..Best! Sebab kat situ boleh laa nak catch up ngan rakan-rakan,tukar-tukar gossip dan sebagainye.I was soo lucky that K.Anina,Mujtahid,Syafiq,Arrifin, Farah and Huzaifah were still there. Its still the same science centre. Same routine and almost the same people.Some I was most delighted to see and some..well,lets just say, I just culdnt stand the sight of them.

And also, I met up with Kimah!! Kimah dearie..By any chance if your reading this,I am truly sorry for not being able to stay longer.sigh.Kena balik cepat.Lucky I went to see you that day.At least boleh tanya2 khabar, even for a short while.Next time I promise I will make myself available for you to belanja kayh!! Muahhh!!

Quite sad gak this time mase nak balik that day kat KLIA.My mom just dropped me off.Kesian dia tak larat nak send me off properly because of her still recovering legs.She can only walk with crutches and if nak gi grocery shopping ke (cam hari tuh) must use wheelchair. Luckily she can already drive.Yay! I know I should be driving her but then takleh nak wat camne kan.. Ni pun dah cukup rase miserable yang amatlah sangat.Sigh.I just cant imagine how my younger sist and bro and of course of my dad, took care of her needs for the last few months.Mase baru-baru lagi accident,she was still very very weak.Memang kena jaga dgn serba teliti nye.Nak gi toilet,nak mandi,nak makan etc etc.. Itah and Aiman,thanks yah.. Even for that short while I was at home,I did what I could to help her.Time-time camnilah kite kene jage mak kite..Baru lah rase camne susahnye mak kite jage kite mase kite kecik-kecik dulu.Ni baru sorang je mak.Kalau mak yang ada ramai anak tuh tak dapatlah nak bayangkan camne.

IFRAN!!
Oitz!! Alaaaaaaaaa..Your not in Brisbane anymore. SOB! We are so gonna miss you here. I am pretty sure skarang nih,kalau bunyi jarum jatuh pun boleh dengar kot kat unit 4 tuh. No more 'melalak' session. Aman dan damai lah Richard and Bernadette kerane unit 4 tidak akan bising seperti dulu lagi. Haha.. Tapi tak bestlaa kau takde..Serius!
Thank you for all your advices, jokes,MJ walk,openness,air coklat yg best, teman aku mase aku tgh boring and depressed etc etc..Banyak giler kalau nak list out kan semua. And sorry for everyting jugak.Tak sempat nak hang out pun mase balik that day.What happened to our plan of going to a mamak stall in Gombak yang ade salsa dancers tuh?Hehe..Next time tau..

Monday, July 04, 2005

rentetan peristiwa

Several meaningful happenings in the past few weeks which I wanted to post but didnt due to my 'endless hectic life'. Plus, I will be away for 3 weeks and might not be posting anything interesting.(at the time of this entry is typed,I am already in KL)..
And just in case, if anyone misses me during my absence, you people can always have a sneak at the piccies here..Haha..

Rollerblading bersama rakan-rakan
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my 22nd birthday
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Home-made pizzas + cheesecake: Effort by those yg concern and really care tht I have a very happy 22nd..
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himpunan hadiah-hadiah. Many many thanks!
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Also not in the picture: Birthday smses + wishes + calls esp frm yg jauh2 di sana, sling bag frm me familia and birthday cards.. T H A N K S!


memorable outings..
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Sunday, June 26, 2005

point to ponder

All of a sudden, I think I am being unreasonable and a bit selfish that I scare myself..
Is it because I expect too much or things are just being the way they are and I am the one who needs to get used to it? Entah laa..



Btw, I have added some more links (some websites + frens blogs). This should be done waaaay earlier but sori ye rakan2, saye seorang yang pelupe :)

Saturday, June 25, 2005

life after exam pt.II

Semuanya bermula di sini..
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My oriental clutch bag and a mug of hot choc were witnesses to what happened on the night of our outing to The 3 Monkeys
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Everyone seems normal before the abduction..
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Hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil
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Sambungan of the no-evil-fellowship..Miahaha!
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Waiting to be abducted by a spaceship..
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After the abduction: Everyone got superpowers..
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Disclaimer: The pictures above are moments captured on the girls nite out. Probably the aftermath upon finishing exams. Kazzilions of apologies if you are emotionally distressed by them :)

Friday, June 24, 2005

life after exam

It has been quite some time since the last time we had a girls nite out. So, we had one yesterday. Ramai-ramai (not really ramai la, satu keta je) went to everyones favourite hang-out place, 3 Monkeys. We ordered Hot Mocha, Muguccino (tol ak spelling Rabs?), Hot Choc and Iced Choc as well as some cakes. Raspberry White Chocolate Cheesecake and Chocolate Mud Cake. Sedap sangat-sangat. Tgh type nih pon terliur lagi. Ehehe.. I even tapau a slice of that Raspberry cake. Punye laa sedap..Nak suruh org lain rase jugak betape yummy nye cake tu.. And then, we had a session of 'gigam'. Macam2 posing adaa.. We noticed that the 2 guys sitting next to our table trying hard not to laugh watching us yg kejap dok seblah sane, pastuh kat sini plak, tarik kerusi laa, cube buat muke 'savvy'.. Hahaha.. We were clearly making ourselves at home. Adegan 'gigam' tidak berhenti di situ sahaja. On our way back, we stopped by the UFO-thing which is just next to 3 Monkeys. Amik gamba kat situ pulak. Kereta2 yg stop kat traffic lights tuh sure ingat kitorg tgh ade ritual pemujaan ke or jakun nye minah-minah nih.. Lantak laa kan.. Bukan selalu. Haha..Will letak several piccies later. Mak called just now. They were on their way to Muadzam, Pahang to send my younger sist off to Uniten. She will be doing pre-u in Accountancy. Hehe.. Soo not in the plan.. Takpela Itah.. Tu pun kire ok jugak.. All the best! Will visit you there when I go back next week okay! Speaking of going back, counting the days je nih nak balik Malaysia. Tapi have to go through Pet interview dulu.. Urggh.. Takmo! Suddenly, I am not that enthusiastic to balik. Isyhh.. I know I should be happy like, wheeeeeeee..!! Best nye nak balik! Yeah, rite.. Pastuh, sekarang nih rase sangap gler. The girls went to the city just now. I just dont feel like going out. Pastuh boring dok umah. Padan laa muka sendri. Luckily Rabs at home. If not, mmg mati kutu.. Pegi city esok, jom??

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

take me away


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take me away
take me away
Ive got nothing left to say
just take me away
dont give up on me yet
dont forget who I am
I know Im not there yet
but dont let me stay here alone..

Sunday, June 19, 2005

saya sudah merdeka!!

Finished my exam last Friday exactly at 10.15 am.Yay! I am officially off the hook. But I still have one more report to complete but it should be ok I reckon :) The first thing that I did after my last exam was heading straight to the city.Best best.Bought some stuff like scented candles and aromatherapic fragrances.In times like these, I love going shopping alone.I dont have to wait for other ppl to choose the top that they want to buy and can spend as long as I want in a shop.Hehe.But there are times when shopping berjemaah adalah sangat-sangat dialu-alukan. And then later in the evening,me,ili,remy,wan,hafiz,nan,amar and ifran went to watch movie at Southbank.Initially, we wanted to watch Mr & Mrs Smith but sold out laa plak.Ended up watching Batman Begins.It was good.For those yg nak tau camne Bruce Wayne boleh jadi Batman(like me),sure rase movie nih worth watching...

Will pick up my flight ticket tomorrow.I cant believe that I am going back this winter break.Have never done this before.A spontanieous decision that I made during Swotvac.I hope I will have fun back home.I just want to relax and unwind.Too many things happened and too much stress.Eventhough I know I will miss Brisbane for 3 weeks(quite badly) but this might just be the getaway that I need.Hehe..

All For Believing
(another brilliant song by Missy Higgins)

Pull back the shield between us, and Ill kiss you
Drop your defenses and come, into my arms

Im all for believing, Im all for believing
Im all for believing if you can reveal the true colours within

I know you blanket your mind so much that I am blind but I,
I see you have painted your soul into your guard
Im all for believing, I'm all for believing

I need to know just how you feel, to comfort you
I need to find the key let me in, into your heart, to find your soul
Pull back the shield between us, and Ill kiss you
Drop your defenses and come, into my arms
Im all for believing, Im all for believing

Im all for believing, if you can reveal, the true colours within
And say you will be there for me to hold

When the faith grows old
And life turns cold
When the faith grows old and life turns cold

So if you are cold I will stay, maybe fate will guide the way
I believe in what I see and baby we were meant to be
Just believe
Just believe
Just believe
Trust in me

--------
I REALLY am all for believing:

I believe that I will pass my INFS4205 exam. (Tolong laa pass..Tolooong laaa..)
I believe that I will do well in MGTS3601 exam.
I believe that I will have tremendous fun in Malaysia when I go back for holiday.
I believe that I will get through my interview easily.
I believe that I will leave a good impression on the interviewers. (Hehe..Sangat2 wish!)
I believe that I will graduate at the end of this year.
I believe that I made the right decision.
I believe in you.

So, help me God.Do not let all the things that I believe in, dissapoint me.

For those who still have exams, Good luck!!