it sure feels like shit and..



.. for that

*I am in dire need of retail theraphy*

the day i turned 22..


i know that we are gonna celebrate my birthday at Pancake Manor's..


but I did not expect THIS!! :)


me, still overwhelmed by what just happened..

Many thanks to everyone who made last night a night not to be forgotten.Heh..Seriously, I am still touched by korang nye sweetness nih.. :) Giler tak larat!! And also thank you for the homemade pizzas, apple pie and cheesecake. I felt soo gemok but happy..Hehe.. Thanks guys. You made my day!!

(Zillion thanks to Ili and Huda for your shoulders and ears.Words can never describe how glad I was to let it all out. Thanks for being there!)

statistical analysis = bengong, muak,bosan,tensi,sakit kepale,confused

Buat kira-kira statistic to analyze questionnaire adalah saaaaaangat memeningkan.

Sesungguhnya,sekarang ini:



adalah...



Sekian, terima kasih.

I want this sooo bad sampai mimpi.

h u g e r e l i e f

The presentation was alright. I was a nervous wreck by the time it was my turn to present. Second person for today. The first person was a Chinese guy with his "Digital Archaeological Library" project. I was relieved when Lazaros came in the room. And was a bit surprised when he came with Sean. But it was a pleasant one though. Hoho. They both were my lecturers last sem. But I didnt like Sean at tht time coz I think he had quite a wicked sense of humour. Very sarcastic and suke kenekan org. Very dry British jokes. And not funny at all. Hoho. But then, I realized he was actually quite nice. Especially when he helped me out with my thesis this sem. A cool guy I would say for his age. I am not sure how old he is (I am pretty sure hes quite old) but I know he listens to all those grunge-alternative-rock music. This one day, I saw his cd collection in his office. There were American Idiot, Absolution, Franz Ferdinand, Blur to name a few and lots of others yg tak ingat dah. Tapi sumer rock bands. Giler banyak cd die. Serius! Cool la Sean.. I also remember last sem when some of us were begging him to extend the submission due date because of Muse nye concert, he was pretty lenient about it. Ntah2 die pon pegi jugak. Hehe.. Anyways, I was really grateful tht Sean did ask me a question tht I can answer during my presentation just now. However, kantoi jugak laa when Lazaros asked me sumting about the reality centre. From where I was standing, I could see Sean smiling sebab dia tau aku kantoi! Adusss.. but then he said it was alrite. Overall performance was good. Yay! Before they both went out, Sean sempat tanye: <I reckon you should help me lecturing next sem> Aha!! Very funny Sean. I take that as a compliment! :p I just managed to put a big smile on my face at tht time. Tak larat nak reply. Dah cukup cuak dah tadi.. Esok gue kene conduct experiment pulak. Sesape yg involved, esok tau, jangan lupe!

thesis seminar presentation : 24 May 2005 [11.40 am , 78 - 622]

The 'cuak'est moment (the one that I have been waiting for but hope it wouldnt come) will come tomorrow.Its either I strut my stuff successfully and wow the audience (esp Lazaros) or screwed up big time. Though I would really looooove to have the former but the latter is just as possible. I sure need all the luck in the world and pray that everything will run as smooth as possible.

some of the trivial things that matter to me

• I am nervous because I have a major presentation coming up this Tuesday.
• I am also nervous because MOCK interview is next weekend but I am happy because this means I get to go to Sydney even for a short while. A weekend getaway from the hectic uni schedule is great.
• I am overjoyed because I can still put on my earrings. Lubang tindik is still ok. Yay!!
• I am eager to have coffee with my favourite Orange-and-Poppy-Seeds Muffin after this. Yum!
• I am delighted because I heard my fave song You and Me (by Lifehouse) on the radio just now when showering.
• I am feeling really fat because this is my fat week and I ate much worse than a tapir.
• I am contented because I expected something happy to happen to me some times this week.
• I am also worried because what I expected might not turn out the way I wanted them to be.
• I am feeling slightly sluggish because of Potret Mistik at 4 am in the morning.
• I am motivated and inspired because I feel my artistic sense urging me to do something creative like designing and painting on a t-shirt.
• I am happy because I am just happy today.

P/S: To those who are wondering what is a tapir, it is the largest of the species and is distinguished by its unusual coloration. The rear half of the body above the legs is white. And it is related to horses and rhinos but not to pigs. And also, 'Potret Mistik' adelah tak mistik langsung ok. How could an old crazy woman (played by Khatijah Tan, she was good but the movie just sux) who might not be exposed to technology and modern appliances (given the fact that she IS crazy and duduk terkurung kat dlm rumah), could possibly reply MMS and drive a car which still looked nice and kinda sporty. Ape? Die sempat pegi hantar workshop utk repair ke?

breathe and stop

we wanted the best of everything without realizing that sometimes these things are not the best things for us after all because we wanted all the wrong things in the first place..

i still have:

• Thesis seminar presentation next Tuesday - crapping for 15 mins and answer questions for 5 mins(in which i think i will probably crap again) :p
• Multimedia and Spatial databases assignment. Worth 30% (Banyak!!) I still couldnt grasp what the lecturer is actually trying to teach us..This guy just graduated with a PHD but still very very young.. And so well-groomed..I am starting to think that he might actually be gay.(Ha!) No offense here to all the well-groomed straight guys out there.I just hope that I am wrong.Heh..
• Special Topic test - I need at least 5 participants for this experiment. Found 3 (insya allah) and need 2 more.. Jom korang! This should be fun..
• Special Topic Report - As usual, must do this after the experiment.This one should be okay I reckon
• Mock Interview - On the 28th May.Baru je pk nak dok umah diam2 that weekend..One word: c u a k! Reminding me that the real interview is just around the corner.Huhu..

will this sense of loss fade?

It was sunny in the morning and really rainy in the evening. Just like how I felt today. Very the cheery and happy in the morning and semakin mandom and terus kusam bila petang menjelang sampaila malam. Feelings I dont like but will somehow try to tolerate. What do I expect? Nak happy je 24/7? I wish!! Everything on this earth surface change ok. Harga minyak, fashion, umur, favourite food, tempat tinggal etc etc and of course people, change. Just like my mood laa. Tinggal lagi my mood is sometimes awfully far worse and much more susceptible to the change in its surrounding tahap takleh nak control if nak compare ngan bende2 lain yg tak stabil jugak. Huh.. Have you ever felt so annoyed at the very sight of someone? Tengok kelibat je,dah aarrrrggghh!! Takmau2.. Teruk kan? Isk isk.. Or sometimes you felt so betrayed or cheated or used (dipergunakan) coz you didn’t get what you want though you have tried play your role the best that you can. *sigh*. And the other party is like <Yey! Look at me, Look at me, Look at what I got!> Enggak fair!!! And there are times when you feel people are being nice to you because they want something from you? Yes, I am being paranoid. And also, I am impatient with things moving too slowly, ok. Tak paham-paham lagi ke?? You think I got all the time in this world, izzit?? You must be crazy.. or just plain lembab. Yes, I know change is important. It helps you grow and be a better person. There is even a course teaching UQ students about change in organizations and how to manage it (I am taking it this sem). But, I really wish some things never change. Because when they do change, I feel a huge sense of loss and jadik macam ni..

worth waiting for..

The 4th season of Smallville is just great.Not that I have watched the finale but up to the 18th episode,the story just gets better.I know it is such a grand spoiler to all the avid Smallville fans out there tapi nak bagitau jugak!! Hehe..In this episode, finally Clark Kent had the chance of having the last dance with Lana,during their senior prom.Lame tuuu kene tunggu.I have a feeling that they wont end up together this season.And not sure that they will, ever.Its just a hunch though :)

the joined hands, the last dance and the song they last danced to..

What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I cant keep up and I can' back down
Ive been losing so much time

Cause its you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I cant keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say just arent coming out right
Im tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause its you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And its you and me and all of the people
And I dont know why, I cant keep my eyes off of you

Theres something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause its you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I dont know why, I cant keep my eyes off of you
and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And its you and me and all of the people
And I dont know why, I cant keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive

:: You and me - l i f e h o u s e ::

so, what did you do during the weekend?

I was utterly depressed on Friday night. But it was all paid off when Saturday came. Well, initially I was still a bit miserable when I woke up that morning. We had a gotong-royong, rearranging and reorganizing the surau library. Bapak banyakkk reading materials. And so were the other irrelevant stuff. Ade ke patut simpan kurma and cordial dalam almari which was meant for telekung and sejadah. Isyh isyh.. Bangkai lipas pun ade jugak. Feeling so worn out after the cleaning up and still gloomy I was really reluctant to go to Nadias birthday party. But then when seeing my housemates getting all excited to change and go, I was somehow triggered to go as well. At least takde la layan sedeh sorang-sorang. The party turned out to be great. It was faboluso!! Full of fun, yummy food (nasi tomato and chocolate cheese cake.Hubba hubba!) and wacky camera-poses. And as a result, here are some of the great moments managed to be captured that day.


:: whos that girl? ::
busy at work


::melompat lebih tinggi. Weee!! ::
nadias party - this is just one of the many wacky acts


:: favourite snapshot ::


:: and another one ::
at the bustop,heading home after the party

i cant get over you since the first time i set my eyes on you.. :)

I should be taking my driving lessons by the end of this year when I got back. WAJIP! Baru laa terhegeh-hegeh skarang nih nak amik lesen. Awal-awal dulu taknak amik.Sekarang nyesal.Giler ketinggalan. Tapi bukan tak nak amik before nih. But every time I went back for holidays, I’d be working, which kinda tied me up. How do I fit the driving lessons in between those long-gruelling hours of working?? (Note the exaggeration here) Hohoho..I wasnt that busy pun but then takde motivation nak amik driving lessons aah.. In addition to that, my mom is always willing to offer me a lift and plus, LRT kan ade? Heh.. (Yeah, rite..Macam la selalu gune pun) But then, when someone pointed out, “Tak kesian ke mak awak je kene drive?” (Since my dad doesnt drive, doesnt know how and doesnt want to learn how) Maka, timbul lah rase insaf untuk belajar driving..Lebih2 lagi apabile kejadian kemalangan tempoh hari telah menyebabkan emak saye terlantar di rumah dan tidak boleh memandu untuk satu tempoh yg agak lama (She told me that she was really bored just staying at home with nothing to do and was sooo keen to start driving the car back) Lagipun, boleh belaja saing ngan my bro and sist (as this friend of mine pointed out..again…)Yela2…balik nih belajar driving, ok!

the attack of the NERDs

another entry with less than 20 minutes difference from the previous one...Hehe..Just couldnt wait..


a tribute to our PQSA Trivia..Go group SIX!!!

..Sunday morning rain is falling..Steal some covers share some skin..

Waking up to the stimulating, rich aroma of coffee and starting your day off with the super delicious cheese and bake pasta definitely made you feel good all day long (Thanks Fazz!). What a good start. I usually loathe Sundays coz Monday will come next and there goes my kick-off of a boring and stressful week. But since tomorrow is a holiday everything seems so perfect. At least for now.

On top of all these, getting a new haircut just added to the joyous anticipation of having a good weekend. Along with the good coffee, nice breakfast and new hairdo, it rained yesterday. It was pretty heavy. Just after I got the new haircut. Rain just fits well with the whole dramatic happiness situation. Perfecto!!

A new haircut always helps to make you feel good. Yes. True.. New haircut can be a barometer of how you feel about yourself. Like right now, I feel so happy and I think I can do anything that I want to and experience all the good things that life has to offer. Hohoho.. And, oh, its raining again, outside.... :)

..Come and rest your bones with me.. Driving slow on Sunday morning.. And I never want to leave..